BREACH OF PEAS ON OUR CRAZY TREK TO FAR EAST

Roberts and Killie mates got caught between a wok and a hard place

Brutal 40 degree heat that made it impossible to train.

Dodgy reheated rice forcing taxi rides to TGI Friday’s to get some decent grub.

Big Del Anderson dressed up as Inspector Clouseau and throwing shapes in a Seoul nightclub.

This summer it will be 25 years since the story of Ki lmarnock in Korea became one of the most bizarre in Scottish football history.

Thankfully, Mark Roberts is here to tell the tale in his own inimitable style.

It’s 1995 and the campaign has just drawn to a close, with the Rugby Park side finishing seventh in the table.

As part of South Korea’s long-term bid to host the 2002 World Cup, they want to show FIFA they can put on a show.

So the Korea Cup is born. It would involve a mi x of club sides and international teams and the organisers wanted a Scottish representative.

Naturally, Rangers and Celtic were their prime targets but with the Old Firm already booked for pre-season trips, the invitation found its way to Ayrshire.

Alex Totten was boss at the time and despite the prospect of a glamorous jaunt to Asia, it didn’t go down that well in the Killie dressing-room.

Roberts, a teenage striker at the time, recalled: “We said: ‘OK, where is it?’ When they told us South Korea, we just p****d ourselves laughing.

“So while every other player in Scotland was f***ing off on a plane to Magaluf we were on our way to South Korea. It was bonkers. I was only 19 and it was the furthest away I’d ever been after Saltcoats.”

Killie were drawn in a group alongside the hosts, Costa Rica and a Rio XI from Brazil. In the other section were Ecuador, Zambia, Belgian outfit Mechelen and Trelleborgs from Sweden.

The weather was a bit different to what Killie were used to, as was the cuisine.

Roberts said: “We were trying to train in 40 degree heat and the food was horrific.

“We felt the rice wasn’t fresh every day so what we did was get peas and hide them underneath the rice to see if they were giving us fresh stuff.

“Sure enough, we’d lift it up the next day and the peas were still there! We thought: ‘ You b******s!’

“We were in TGI Fridays every night for our dinner, honestly. About 30 of us would get taxis to TGIs in the middle of Seoul. We were just dafties from Scotland.”

Kilmarnock’s first game was against the Costa Rica national team at Seoul’s Olympic Stadium.

To their credit, they picked up a 2-2 draw that should have set them up nicely for their next game against the Rio XI.

But with Totten’s side desperate to get back on home soil, Roberts recalled their disgust when Robert Connor grabbed a goal against the Brazilians in a match they eventually lost 2-1.

He said: “Before our first match, South Korea were playing the Rio XI.

“We turned up while that game was on and the stadium was full – there were about 100,000 people in there.

“They had those clapper things that you get at Leicester City now so there was some racket. It was awesome.

“We thought we’d be playing in front of 100,000 so when the first game finished, we walked out the tunnel feeling like big international stars.

“But we quickly realised there were only about 10,000 people left in the ground – it was like a ghost town!

“We went into the second game against Rio XI not wanting to progress. We just didn’t want to be there. We wanted to be on our holidays. The second game was