Cup’s as fake as Melania’s stunt double
This weekend’s Scottish Cup has a hint of Donald Trump’s weird occasional stand-in fake wife.
You know the one. Kind of looks like Melania and everyone acts as though it’s her – but, let’s face it, there’s no way the stunt double is actually her.
It’s the same with our oldest and dearest cup competition. Completing the tournament now is a bit of a nonsense.
We know the SFA bumped it back hoping there would be fans in the ground to make them – and the clubs – a few quid, while making sure sponsors and television companies didn’t demand their dough back.
But waiting this long devalued the thing to a point the engraver will need to carve out an asterisk next to the name of the winners.
The teams involved in this weekend’s semi-finals are radically different from those that played in the quarters, back in the Good Old Days.
It has bent its credibility to breaking point.
Celtic have, for example, spent £15m since they got to the last four and could have six new faces against Aberdeen today. Jonny Hayes, who helped Celts reach this stage, will be lined up against them.
This is in a tournament where teams used to get kicked out for missing out apostrophes on the team sheet.
But, as President Trump says, it is what it is. And it makes for an intriguing Scottish Cup semi-final.
Celtic showed signs of recovery in Lille the other night and are getting key men back. Aberdeen had them on the rack last week and will feel even the last-gasp draw was letting them off the hook.
We’ve got a game here, that’s for sure. A lot about today will be billed as make-or-break for Celtic and Neil Lennon.
That’s more nonsense. This is a club who haven’t lost a cup tie in four years, who have won seven knockout tournaments in a row and are looking to complete a delayed quadruple Treble.
It’s a ridiculous spell of domination that has to end at some point. Some
Celtic fans might think they are entitled to win every single thing from now until eternity.
But there will be a time they get papped out and there’s every chance it could be this afternoon.
There will be so much bed-wetting if they do, the Forge should stock up on rubber sheets.
After four games without a win, it’s almost unthinkable for Lennon, but the football gods have been meddling with the Hoops all season so far.
Aberdeen, on the other hand, have been challenged by their fans leaving a motivational banner at Cormack Park to make history. To do so they’ll need to dig out the Men in Black pen and try to forget recent history.
Last time the Dons beat Celtic at Hampden there was an unpopular Tory PM, three million jobless and a government fighting over Europe.
Ah. Okay, not much has changed since 1992 but eight defeats for Aberdeen at the National Stadium at the hands of the Hoops and they could really do with changing the record.
For all Celtic’s apparent vulnerability, the Dons are still rank outsiders.
But they do have a chance. Ryan Hedges and Marley Watkins gave Celts grief last week.
Sam Cosgrove’s return from injury suggested he could prolong Lennon’s side’s search for a clean sheet and the lack of fans will be a big leveller.
Aberdeen want to win while Celtic need to win. The heat is all on the holders, even if most of it is coming off keyboards.
This Scottish Cup might be out of kilter but we might as well act like the MAGA crew and Fake Melania and just nod along and go with it.
Waiting this long devalues the cup .. the engraver will need to carve out asterisk next to the winner