Sunday Mail (UK)

Choose Alfie, choose strife, choose bans

- Gannon

The SFA slapping Alfredo Morelos with a three-match ban doesn’t seem too bad considerin­g Irvine Welsh’s suggestion for punishment.

The Trainspott­ing author caused quite the storm by joking on Hibs TV that the Colombian should be chopped up with a machete and fed to the seagulls.

What a carry on.

Welsh has taken a pounding for his comments and poor Alfie has been cast as a victim again after being cited for the stamp on Ryan Porteous, picked on by all these nasty officials who clearly have an anti-Rangers agenda. Give us strength. It would be nice to meet any of these folk who were actually offended by Welsh’s comments on Hibs TV on Wedesday night.

They must be a barrel of laughs. When lockdown is over they are first on the invitation list for the party.

Does any real person actually give a toss about this? It’s like the old letters sent in to Points of View by Disgusted from Kent or something.

Unravel your knickers, turn off the Twitter and get a grip.

Same goes for Hibs issuing an apology. Grow a set.

If you are going to hire the guy who wrote Trainspott­ing then you need to accept that he might chuck in the odd close to the bone analogy.

So what. It was clearly a joke and if folk can’t take it that’s on them.

As for Morelos, there’s no need to chop him up but yet again his manager could do with giving him a – metaphoric­al – slap.

Some Rangers fans have got themselves into a knot over the striker.

When their side were miles behind Celtic and he acted up, they eventually lost the rag and understood Morelos was harming their side’s chances with his behaviour.

Get rid was the call.

Now that they are streets ahead they have gone back to acting like the Night Stalker groupies.

Wait a minute, there’s someone comparing

Morelos to a 1980s serial killer – call the compliance officer again.

Morelos is more like the

Shin Raker than the Night Stalker anyway but he got caught against Hibs and got hit with a ban.

Deal with it.

There are probably plenty of examples of other players getting away with similar stuff during games but that doesn’t

make their man any less culpable.

The constant moaning about Morelos misses a key point though.

If the match officials had seen some of these offences then he would have been off the park and would not have been contributi­ng to earning vital points.

He scored the winner at Easter Road when he should have been soaking in the team bath.

Should Hibs stopper Darren McGregor have been done as well? Maybe. But his stamp on Glen Kamara was much more subtle than Alfie’s and harder to prove.

Morelos is about as subtle as an articulate­d lorry attempting a three-point turn.

It’s clear the hitman is beyond a telling.

Rangers gaffer Steven Gerrard has spent large spells head butting the wall with him.

There’s been the arm around the shoulder, the hair dryer treatment and even the wage packet being bashed but none of it seems to work.

We thought his previous was just frustratio­n at Rangers not winning.

Now they are, it turns out that’s just the way he is.

He should be enjoying the victory parade as Rangers stroll towards the title but he obviously plays on the edge and sometimes goes over it.

His main problem is he’s not cute enough to avoid getting caught.

If the Colombian plays well and scores goals then his manager – and any future gaffer – will just need to factor that in and take the rough with the smooth.

Like Welsh’s Begbie in Trainspott­ing, he’s a psycho, but he’s a mate, so what can you do?

He scored the winner when he should have been in the team bath

 ??  ??
 ??  ?? MORELOS facing new ban
MORELOS facing new ban

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United Kingdom