Anthea: How I survived divorce

TV STAR’S DARK DAYS AFTER RUMBLING CHEAT HUBBY

TV star Anthea Turner turned Miss Marple to expose cheating hubby Grant Bovey but then became consumed by fear that SHE was to blame.

The 56-year-old was pushed to the brink of despair and admits she was tempted to forgive him for the second time.

But with the support of Grant’s daughters, a raft of selfhelp books and counselling, Anthea came through “a stronger woman”.

And she now tells in fascinating detail just how she nailed lying Bovey, 56.

In her new book – How To Survive Divorce – Anthea says her suspicions were aroused just 10 months after she had forgiven her husband for a fling.

He had been rumbled for an affair with interior designer Zoe de Mallet Morgan when she was 24 and he was 52. It was when the pair rekindled their romance that Anthea turned detective.

She recalls: “One day he announced he was meeting a business contact. I went on his computer but couldn’t find any emails confirming the meeting.

“So I checked his satnav but couldn’t find the location in ‘previous destinations’. He told me the meeting had gone well and changed the subject.”

MILEAGE

Then keen cyclist Grant said he was trying some new routes.

Anthea adds: “He has a Garmin device on his bike which logs mileage, yet when I looked, he hadn’t been anywhere he claimed to have.

“Also, the anti-theft tracker device on each vehicle told me he was lying about where he was going.”

Anthea, former presenter of TV’s The Perfect Housewife, even checked his credit cards and text messages.

She admits: “I hated being the woman who checks up on her husband but, unfortunately, his behaviour turned me into her.”

Eventually she confronted him with the evidence and their 13-year marriage was over.

Anthea says: “This time was even more shocking than the first because he knew how hard I’d had to dig to forgive him months earlier. But this time there were no cries for forgiveness or explanations. He simply said he wanted a different life and didn’t want to be married. It was time to call it a day.”

Writing in her self-help book, which Anthea hopes will guide others through the divorce minefield, she says she hadn’t realised that cracks first appeared in 2010. With property developer Grant facing bankruptcy she had taken a job hosting

Canadian TV series Dinner Party Wars to pay the bills.

While she was away rumours started swirling that he was seeing a much younger woman.

The truth came out when the husband of former TV weather girl Sally Meen – one of Anthea’s best friends – admitted what his pal Bovey was up to. Anthea was stunned. She recalls: “We’d been together nearly 15 years. I thought we were solid and I was shattered to discover he clearly hadn’t felt the same way.

AWFUL

“Yes, Grant and I previously behaved badly – we had an affair ourselves. He was married to Della with three lovely girls, Lily, Amelia and Claudia, and I was married to former DJ Peter Powell. It was an awful, painful time. I would walk over glass to avoid it happening again.

“But Grant lied for three years and the deceit was the hardest thing to get over. As the girls, to whom I am very close, articulated, ‘You did it to Mum, now you’ve done it to Anthea. Why?’”

There were clues to Grant’s infidelity when he started criticising her – from the time she spent on lunch to the way she applied suntan lotion.

Anthea says: “But instead of telling him to sod off, I lost my confidence and turned into a person I no longer knew. I bit my tongue and tried to make him

Grant’s deceit was the hardest thing to get over, he lied for 3 years ANTHEA TURNER ON HELL OF HUBBY’S BETRAYAL

happy. I couldn’t work out why this 52-year-old was behaving so badly. He even bought a sports car and wanted to go to Ibiza! When I learned the ‘other woman’ was 24, not much older than Grant’s eldest daughter, it all made perfect sense.”

After the second betrayal, Anthea started divorce proceedings and the impending split left her reeling. She goes on: “I had learned to be stepmum to three fabulous kids, whom I love very much.

“We’d been through the trauma of many unsuccessful IVF attempts, three house moves, working

together, holidays, weddings. I felt as if someone had died. In the following months I must have read every self-help book going, drunk far too much alcohol and spent days under the duvet, trying to shut out the world.

“Even though it was Grant’s decision to cheat and to ruin our marriage, I felt as if I’d failed somehow.

“I was overwhelmed by my emotions and saw a therapist.” She says her stepdaughters also helped her through those dark days, creating spreadsheets as she tried to figure out her finances.

HEADSPACE

They also offered support when it came to Anthea quitting the large marital home in Surrey and moving to a smaller apartment.

“It wasn’t just the house I was cleansing but my headspace as well,” Anthea says. “I didn’t even realise I needed it until Claudia, the youngest who now lives with me, took me in hand and said, ‘Right, we’re having a clear-out and starting with your wardrobe!’ We got rid of 40 per cent of my clothes.”

Her wedding gown and photo albums are still in Grant’s garage.

“One day I might retrieve everything to relive the good bits of our marriage,” she says. Despite everything Anthea has stayed on good terms with Grant.

She adds: “I won’t pretend I wasn’t tempted to try and rekindle things and to forgive him yet again. But after therapy, I was strong enough to see I needed to move on.

“But having the girls in my life made me realise it wouldn’t do me any good to cut their father out of the picture.

“So putting aside all my dark thoughts and anger, I made a decision to let go. Forgiveness isn’t easy but it’s a great strength and I’m a stronger woman for it.”