I’M WRITE DELIGHTED

This being my first outing on this page, I’d like to clear up a mistaken impression politicians have about us so-called opinion formers.

We may have influence, but we have no power.

I can call for a Cabinet minister to be sacked but only Theresa May can deliver the P45.

What I didn’t know, until Cabinet Office minister Oliver Dowden mentioned it last week, is that if WhitehalI mandarins behave like lemons I can take away their pensions.

They stand to lose all or some of it for offences such as treason, revealing official secrets, or doing something which is “gravely injurious” to the State.

How much gets whipped off their comfy retirement depends, says Olly, on “the amount of negative publicity the person’s crime has generated for the Government”.

Well, you could have knocked this scribbler over with a feather pen. The beastlier I am in this column the more dosh they will lose.

I feel a power surge coming on. Donald Trump is not a good president. Not even nearly. But maybe he’s becoming a less bad one.

Putting aside affair allegations by porn starlet Stormy Daniels and stormy showdowns with his ex-FBI director, peaceful coexistence with North Korea, and possibly Iran, is now within reach.

But a US spy tells me that Washington’s spooks are still determined to trumpety-trump the nellie out of office.

And they always get their man.