LOOKING FOR NEW ROCK

Moves are afoot, I hear, to give Gibraltar its own MP. This makes sense.

The 30,000 Gibraltarians are represented by South West Region MEPs in the European Parliament, but that’ll end with Brexit next year.

The British Overseas Territory does not even have the option of going it alone by declaring independence. Under the 1713 Treaty of Utrecht it can only belong to either Britain or Spain.

And in 1967 and 2002 referendums overwhelmingly showed Gibraltarians want to stay British. Then there’s the 300 Barbary apes to consider. Popular legend holds that as long as they’re there the Rock will remain under British rule.

Winston Churchill was so superstitious that in 1942 he boosted their dwindling numbers with Moroccan migrants.

They can be mischievous little monkeys, skilled at pickpocketing and liable to bite if annoyed.

An MP would meet demands for no vexation without representation.

Keep an eye on Commons proceedings on Wednesday week to see how this one goes. If there were local elections in your area on Thursday, did you vote?

When young people tell me they don’t turn out because it’s a waste of time I tell them to switch off Pointless, get up off their backsides and down to polling stations to spoil their ballot papers with a rude message.

That’s because they’re the only voting slips the candidates see.

They have to read them to agree to them being discarded.