NO SMOKE WITHOUT IRE

I vape. Which sounds like the start of one of those Latin verbs some readers might remember chanting in school. Or Julius Caesar rocking up on the Kent coast to declare: “Vapee, Vidi, Vici.”

As one of 2.9million UK vapers I ought to be pleased the Commons Science and Technology Committee, chaired by Lib Dem Norman Lamb, says we should be allowed to puff in workplaces, restaurants and public transport instead of being banished to smoking shelters. Those MPs must be on the wacky baccy.

There’s e-cigs and e-cigs. I use a small stick one producing so little vapour it looks like morning mist.

But others come with enough liquid to fill a VW’s fuel tank creating monstrous fugs fit to close the M1.

MPs cannot seriously think anyone wants to sit next to one of those puffing billies.

That makes easing e-cig regulations impossible. So I guess us vapers will just have to continue with our outdoor exile. Here’s a surprise. Tory support for strikes. Visa requirements mean foreign lecturers joining recent university walkouts had it counted as unpaid leave. And they lose their right to UK residency if they take too much.

Now immigration minister Caroline Nokes is to change the rules so they can’t be hoofed out.

She says: “There’ll be no immigration consequences for any migrant worker who takes part in legal strike action.”