Sunday Mirror (Northern Ireland)
Get passionate about pensions
Don’t let financial fears ruin a good relationship
After infidelity, money is said to be the top cause of relationship breakdowns.
The key to a happy relationship is communication, however – and I don’t just mean talking.
Communication means listening too, you hear me?
Do you know what your spouse or partner wants to achieve in their professional life? Are they looking to progress in their career?
Do they want to stay in their current job until retirement? And when do they plan to give up work?
And outside of work, what does your partner want to achieve?
It’s important you discuss this now so there are no surprises in store later.
After all, if you don’t know what each other wants from their life, how will you ever be able to achieve it together?
Pensions and paying mortgages aren’t exciting, but what they can do for us is. When we attach an emotional feeling to them, the results become far more real and meaningful.
If you said, “By forgoing [fill in your blank] and investing into our pensions, we can travel the world in 12 years rather than in 20 years,” you could both be more inspired to follow through.
That’s why I recommend you have a date night each month, as an opportunity for you both to forget your other roles in life and be a couple again.
Remember, time is precious and it never stops ticking so we need to make life happen, not just have life
happen around us.
Have regular date nights to forget your roles in life and just be a couple again
Stronger together
Spending money is an emotional area and from my experience as a financial planner, it can cause a lot of conflict between couples. Secret spending, worried purchases and resentment can quickly snowball. But if you scratch beneath the surface of the arguments, it’s not the actual spending that causes the conflict – it’s the breaking of each other’s values.
For example, when my wife Nicky and I first got together, she would go shopping with her friends.
All I would see when she got home were the bags full of purchases.
I viewed her spending money like that as moving away from what I wanted, which was financial freedom.
I didn’t see, at the time, the happiness it gave her. Instead, I assumed my values of financial freedom were not important to her and she was trying to jeopardise them by shopping.
When we spoke about this, she shared her thought that all I wanted to do was invest our money. Needless to say, the talk worked – we started to understand each other’s values and our relationship with money took off.
We resolved things by putting the Bank Account System into place.
I developed this early on in my career and I encourage all readers to use it. It helps take routine thought and emotion out of everyday banking and puts your financial journey on autopilot, while allowing you to retain your precious independence.
I encourage you to make your future together bigger than your past and always to have plans and aspirations. That’s true no matter what your age. You can find more about how to set up the Bank Account System in my book The Money Plan, or at warren shute.com, where there are also free resources to download.
PAUL NICHOLLS is poised to turn to headgear to reignite Cyrname’s Cheltenham Gold Cup challenge.
The nine-year-old can be backed at 33/1 for chasing’s blue riband on March 19, after his flop in the Ladbrokes King George VI Chase at Kempton Park on Boxing Day.
And Nicholls has now worked Cyrname, alongside 2018 Gold Cup hero Native River the highest-rated chaser in Britain, in cheekpieces ahead of Saturday’s bid to recapture the Grade 1 Betfair Ascot Chase he won in 2019.
“He’s had them on a few times at home just to sharpen him up, and it seems to do the job nicely,” the 11-time champion trainer said yesterday.
“Sometimes it just sharpens horses up a little bit. Some horses just race a bit lazily – behind the bridle.
“He used to be very free and he’s gone a bit laid back.
“At Kempton he missed the break and then half-sulked in behind. That wasn’t him.
“We’ll try him in the cheekpieces again later in the week – Wednesday or Thursday – and then decide whether we run them in or not.”
Elimay is the sponsor’s 3/1 favourite for the Cheltenham Festival’s new race, the Mrs Paddy Power Mares’ Chase, after returning to winning form at Naas yesterday.
The Willie Mullinstrained grey, second to stablemate and Ryanair Chase hope Allaho at Thurles 17 days earlier, lengthened away from the final fence under Mark Walsh to humble Shattered Love by fiveand-a-half lengths in the Listed BBA Ireland Limited Opera Hat Mares Chase.
“I was worried about that being so close and she had a hard race against Allaho – that confirms his form as well,” said Ireland’s champion trainer. “Mark was a little bit worried after the first ditch, where the ground was a little bit heavy on the far side of the track.
“But then, from six furlongs out – on much better ground – she seemed to liven up and, the further she went, the better she was travelling.”
Ryan Moore struck with a 26.58/1 fourtimer from five rides as Ahdab (Evens), Gurkha Girl (4/6), Crackling (10/11) and Convertible (100/30) scored at Lingfield Park.
EXETER will become the first National Hunt meeting to take place in Britain since last Sunday’s Musselburgh fixture if it passes an inspection at
8.30am today.
He used to be very free... but he half-sulked at Kempton
SE Mo Laoch could be the horse to side with in the featured Punchestown Grand National Trial Handicap Chase this afternoon.
This Grade B contest has attracted a full field but quite a few of them are struggling for their best form and, despite his advancing years, Se Mo Laoach makes plenty of appeal.
The ten-year-old comes here off an excellent seasonal debut at the same track when he chased home Unexpected Depth in a handicap hurdle.
In addition Se Mo Laoch is a confirmed stayer, which is important for this marathon affair on testing ground, and he has run many of his best races at this track.
He also has a light weight and first time blinkers to aid his cause and all this earns him the vote over the novice The Big Dog.
That rival was possibly a little disappointing at Navan last time but his previous third to Longhouse Poet at this track was a good effort.
This afternoon’s card also features a useful novice hurdle where Thedevilscoachman is put forward to land his third race of the season.
He won a Cork maiden in
November and followed a solid showing at Grade 1 level with a likeable success in a novice hurdle at Navan two weeks ago.
His last two runs would suggest that this gelding has a future at Listed level and he can deal with the threat posed by Power Of Pause.
A longer trip might well suit Power Of Pause but he has winning form over this course and distance and he also showed up well to finish third to Dreal Deal in a Grade 2 here last time.
In the opening cross country chase the 14-year-old Ballyboker Bridge makes plenty of appeal.
His three wins have all comes over this cross country track and he showed up well to finish second in a similar event here in November.
Dinny Lacey makes most appeal in the day’s novice chase as he drops down in class having finished third to Envoi Allen last time.
In the maiden hurdles the first division can go to Lifetime Ambition while Jungle Boogie is impossible to oppose in the other division.
Shar Whats Therush has started his season with a couple of solid runs and he gets the vote in the handicap hurdle.
RHYS RUDDOCK admits he had to learn new tricks to earn his first Six Nations start at 30.
The Leinster back row admits it is “mad” that he is only reaching that milestone this afternoon – 10 and a half years on from his Ireland debut in Brisbane.
In the meantime, Ruddock has accumulated 26. caps. It has felt at times that just when he has been building a head of steam, injury would put him back at square one.
But other times he has been in the championship squad but not deemed on the frontline for selection.
“Yeah, it’s mad to think it’s my first start in the Six Nations but I’ve played some big matches against tough opposition,” he said, with New Zealand and South Africa among that number.
“So this is probably another step up in terms of the test that France will bring and the form they’re in as well.
But it’s an exciting opportunity as well to start my first Six Nations match with this group of players.
“There’s obviously been a few years where I’ve been at home or been injured.
“But most of the time I’ve been involved in the squad, sometimes on the bench, other times not in the matchday 23. So it’s a bit of a strange one.
“You’ve got to be in the squad and in the group to have a chance and I’ve preferred that, being in around the group and waiting for my opportunity rather than like last year’s Six Nations where I was at home on the couch watching.
“It gave me a lot of motivation to try and lift my level of performance and do what was needed to get myself back in the frame and get an opportunity for myself.
“That’s what I’ve tried to do. Just focus on my performance with Leinster and work my back into the squad and hope for an opportunity here.”
Ruddock must have wondered if his chance had come and gone when, having come off the bench against the All Blacks in the 2019 World Cup quarterfinal, he didn’t make the cut for last year’s Six Nations.
He had been called in for
Farrell’s initial ‘stock-take’, the new head coach’s brief preChristmas camp with the players after succeeding Joe Schmidt.
But with so many back row options to go with, Ruddock was deemed surplus to requirements early last year and again when rugby returned after lockdown for the end of the Six Nations and the Autumn Nations Cup. And yet Ruddock rallied in the following months with Leinster and put in performances that were impossible for Farrell to ignore - and were just what Farrell had ordered after leaving Ruddock out.
‘He spoke to me about being a collision winner, it’s a point of difference,” said the player. “But it’s doing it consistently, being dynamic and explosive in the contact.
“I’ve done that, I think. I went away and worked on some physical things while we weren’t playing in terms of trying to be a little bit lighter and a lot stronger and more powerful.
“So the combination of being lighter and stronger meant I’m more dynamic and explosive in the contact.
“That was a thing I worked on while we were playing rugby but then just transferring that onto the pitch has been the challenge and the opportunity as well and I got a large number of games at the start of the season to implement that.
“A lot of that is just staying injury free and being confident.
“I’ve worked on my level of confidence and my self-belief to make sure I’m getting the best out of myself and not getting in my own way.
“That’s been another lesson for me - and making sure every time I take the field I expect the best version of myself.
“And I’m confident that I’m going to bring that. That’s been the biggest advantage for me as well.”