Sunday Mirror (Northern Ireland)
It all went Well with Burnley
PAUL WELLER could be excused for not knowing what was worse – recovering from colitis to become Burnley’s player of the year or being the victim of one of Paul Gascoigne’s pranks.
There was also the sight of Ian Wright turning up in a Bentley and the brief spell of playing under Chris Waddle, where the squad were often reminded of his days at Marseille with stars like Jean-Pierre Papin.
“Let him come here to Burnley then on a wet and freezing night in February,” were the thoughts of Weller and his exasperated team-mates.
It was the Nineties and early Noughties and the Lancashire club were desperate to break into the top flight, hence the ambitious moves for Gazza, Waddle and Wright.
But tricky winger Weller had a fight of his own after being told he would only be able to continue with a colostomy bag.
He said: “Team-mates come in and say all the right things – but inside they’re just glad it’s not them. They can get on with their lives and the game. You can’t.”
Three operations left him on the sidelines and his comeback came alongside Wright’s arrival at Turf Moor.
Weller, 46, said: “The whole town had the Ian Wright bug, Burnley were back on the map.
“The cars he drove cost more than an entire Burnley terraced street. He had a superb Bentley at the time. How it wasn’t nicked was a mystery.”
March 2002 and Burnley was hit by Gazzamania. “One morning he was handing out cups of tea he’d made for us. We were quite touched,” said Weller.
“But then suspicion descended. We were right.
“The giant teapot had been filled with great spoons of laxative.” z Not Such A Bad Life by Paul Weller, £19.99 from Pitch Publishing.