Replica Ark can’t Trump Noah

The most persuasive EU argument we’ve seen. We reported months ago that Britain’s puffin population could be in jeopardy if we quit the EU.

Now it emerges bees, butterflies and even otters could be at risk if we quit.

So folks, forget the economic arguments – this boils down to Nigel Farage versus otters.

There can be only one winner. A new YouGov poll asked people how they think fictional characters would vote in the EU referendum. A lot of people reckon Sherlock Holmes would be an outer. Maybe Boris Johnson should be wearing a deerstalker on the campaign trail. Michael Gove would make a good Watson. The public reckon Corrie’s Tracy Barlow, Hyacinth Bucket and even Captain Birdseye would back a Brexit. And thousands of them think Basil Fawlty would be leading the charge. But what would happen to Manuel?

deepest America – where else? – the finishing touches are being put to a £62million, 500ft replica of Noah’s Ark.

They say it will hold all kinds of educational exhibits and, naturally, a petting zoo.

Maybe there’s something they know that we don’t. Maybe Trump’s nomination is a sign of the Apocalypse. There’s one tiny problem – builders confirmed that in the event of, say, a cataclysmic flood, the boat won’t float.

So don’t rush to Kentucky if the tide starts rising. Better stay here and slip your armbands on.

VGo on, make us all smile. Send your jokes to twnw@trinitymirror.com