Sunday Mirror

GERMANY MUST MANN UP NOW

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GERMANY boast an impressive record of four World Cups, three European Championsh­ips and one Pope.

They call themselves Die Mannschaft, a terrible way to go I should imagine, and they are terribly consistent when it comes to winning football competitio­ns.

Time and time again, when push comes to shovehouse­n, the Germans produce the goods, which is the team who are the they then presumably sell World Champions, who on to the rest of Europe destroyed Brazil 7-1.

They have also been But the German runners-up in the Euros on machine has looked a little three occasions, so German less Germanic in recent fans don’t really know the months, losing four of their true meaning of a last nine matches and barren spell. If a keeping a clean German sheet in just one comedian (if of those nine there is such a games. thing) were to Ukraine won’t release a song be a pushover. In about their jet-heeled football team it wingers Yevhen would probably be Konoplyank­a and called Six Years Of Hurt. Andriy Yarmolenko, they

This is a team who do have two big-name players. not mess up on a regular The best bet here is both basis. This is a team who teams to score at 39-40 do not mess up at all. This with 888Sport. NO internatio­nal football tournament would be complete without some form of psychic animal tipster. Nelly, an elephant in a German zoo, has apparently tipped Germany using a system known simply as pot luck.

The most famous non-human tipster of all time was Paul the Octopus (now deceased), who correctly chose the winner in 80 per cent of Germany’s Euro 2008 campaign and in each of Germany’s five 2010 World Cup matches.

The probabilit­y of this occurring was 0.898425%. I haven’t checked this out, I took Paul’s word for it.

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ON TO A WINNER
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ni ke s j w Kono

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