WIFE OF BRAIN DAMAGED COP My husband used to have so much joy in his eyes. Now I see only terror
SUNDAY MIRROR
A LOVING wife today tells how she fought for her brain damaged husband to be allowed to die to end his 18-month “torture”.
Heartbroken Lindsey Briggs pleaded with a judge to release brain-damaged husband Paul from his hell.
The brave policeman has lain stricken since a road accident in July 2015.
Lindsey, 40, fought doctors and a government lawyer for the right to let Paul, her partner of 20 years, slip away.
The judge agreed and Lindsey is preparing to say a final goodbye.
She will be devastated but will always treasure 20 years of joyous memories... of their first kiss, Paul proposing at the top of the Eiffel Tower – and being held close as they danced at their wedding.
But her happiest memory is seeing him hold their miracle daughter Ella – born after failed IVF – and the joy in his eyes at the new life they created.
Now, when Lindsey looks into Paul’s eyes, she only sees “sheer terror”. Which is why she fought the year-long legal battle to allow her husband’s life to end.
Former soldier Paul, 43, was on his way to work when he was knocked from his motorbike in a head-on collision by a novice driver on the wrong side of the road. He has withered from super-fit cop to a skeletal shadow of his former self, with no prospect of regaining consciousness, in need of 24-hour care.
WISHES
But five days before Christmas the Court of Protection ruled Lindsey should be able to carry out her husband’s wishes, and set him free.
Speaking for the first time since the ruling Lindsey said: “It’s so awful – I don’t want to say goodbye, I don’t want to lose Paul and become a widow. I want to have hope. I’ve prayed ‘Please Paul, defy all the statistics’ but he is not going to be the exception. So this is the last thing I can do for my husband.
“He would not wish to go on with severe brain damage, to be on life support for years for no reason.
“He used to talk about horrible things he’d seen at accidents as a traffic officer, the dead and victims who end up brain damaged in the centre where he is now.
“Paul saw them weeks and months afterwards and said it would just have been kinder if they had died at the scene. “And I wish he had too.” Paul’s consultants had argued he was “minimally conscious” and might one day become more responsive.
Other experts claimed he is in a permanent vegetative state and Lindsey believes he feels pain and his existence is “torture”.
So, backed by Paul’s mother Jan and brothers, she challenged the NHS Foundation Trust in court.
And after a four- day hearing Mr Justice Charles agreed Paul would wish to die, even though he had not made an advance directive or “living will”, and that Lindsey is acting out of love.
So, in the coming days, Paul will be moved from hospital to a palliative care centre. While kept pain-free, food and water will be gradually withdrawn and he will be allowed to pass away peacefully.
Courageous Lindsey, a PA to a cardiologist, hopes to be at his side. And, with remarkable compassion, she also hopes the driver who caused Paul’s terrible injuries – Chelsea Rowe, 22 – can find peace too. Rowe was jailed for 12 months for causing injury by dangerous driving after veering into the wrong lane of the Birkenhead flyover and hitting Paul. She was released after six months and is rebuilding her life – but Lindsey is sad she has never apologised in person or asked about Paul. She said: “It’s disap- pointing. I feel for her, anyone can make a mistake, but I think she should say sorry to him.
“I sat through her court case, I have never wished her any harm as I want Ella to grow up to be compassionate.
“But Paul would expect her to be punished, although you can’t compare six months in prison with what has happened to him and his family.
“I would still meet her. She should know that I want us all to be able to live in peace – Paul, me, Ella, her – and that I feel sorry for her and think she should be able to get on with her life.”
Lindsey forces back her tears with smiles and nervous laughs as Ella, five, bounces into the kitchen of their smart home in the Wirral, Merseyside.
As she dances in and out in her “princess dress”, Lindsey tells how Paul joined the Army at 16 as a Royal Artillery gunner and celebrated his 18th birthday serving in the Gulf.
He also had a tour in Northern Ireland before joining the police in 2004.
Lindsey went on: “Paul was an active, fit man, confident and proud of his achievements. He loved being a policeman and a hands-on father. He lived every day as though it was his last.
“He read the Bible, he believed in a better place, he deserves a peaceful death. We had 20 wonderful years together and I know this is what he would have wanted. I still cry, a lot, but it’s not for me, it’s for Ella and most of all for Paul, for everything he has lost.”
And she hopes his story will help other families in similar dilemmas – by highlighting the importance of “living wills.”
She added: “A document, a statement of his wishes would have been totally non-negotiable. But Paul didn’t have one. Who does? You think as a wife you’ll be able to speak for your husband, be their voice. It’s shocking to find that you can’t.
“Society has become scared of death. Yet for Paul, me, Ella, and his family it is the least worst option.
“He can’t be some medical experiment or a legal file, he’s a man who loved life. This is torture for him, worse than dying.”
Lindsey recalled the wonderful life they shared after meeting through mutual friends when she was 18 and
This is the last thing I can do for my husband... he would not want to go on like this LINDSEY BRIGGS ON BATTLE TO ALLOW HER PARTNER TO DIE