Cheesy does it
There are 13 rooms all with a theme – like the Black Sheep (named after the local beer), Night At The Movies, The Champagne and even one dedicated to James Bond, with white furry rugs and a perspex bubble chair hanging from the ceiling that will leave you shaken not stirred.
We were treated to one of their most popular rooms, the Chocolate Heaven. Bedside drawers are filled with confectionery which you can help yourself to, while painted cherubs holding Galaxy bars keep their beady eye on you from the enormous bathroom ceiling.
“We try to be wacky without being tacky,” explains David, who is never afraid of trying new tricks. Like the nude calendar featuring the 34 employees – on sale in the hotel but only embarrassing if you recognise them with their clothes on!
The attentive staff are part of what makes this small hotel so welcoming. But people come from all over the North of England for the spectacular food.
And despite its landlocked setting, fish is the star of the show on both the a la carte and lunchtime menus. Eight chefs, led by head chef Craig, work like demons in the modest kitchen serving up oysters from Ireland, fresh lobsters from Canada (they fly them in alive... business class, we hope) and squid and shellfish from Whitby.
Just don’t come here on a diet – everything is cooked with cream and butter and every morsel is a tastebud sensation that needs to be fully savoured. As part of our Gourmet Package we started with a tapas-style lunch with fizz. After a fascinating tour of the kitchen picking up cooking tips, we sat down with the extremely knowledgeable resident sommelier Vince Bako and enjoyed a 90-minute wine tasting session.
We learned, among other things, the difference between prosecco and champagne... other than price! After a nap it was the main event, a seven-course taster menu in the evening. Oysters, raw and cooked, were followed by Indian-style scallops, crab and salmon, crab and haddock risotto, then tiger prawns fried in Thai spices and coconut. We could barely stop drooling.
And just as we were fit to burst out came a tray of seven divine puddings which even included candy floss. David always likes to have fun with food.
BREECHES
But we weren’t finished yet. We ended with a platter of unusual local cheeses and yep, you guessed it, some Wensleydale. And everything was washed down with wine specially selected by Vince.
We staggered back to Chocolate Heaven and slept like babies.
Next morning we managed to make room for a hearty Yorkshire breakfast – a great start to any day.
Luckily, the surrounding countryside gave us plenty of opportunities to burn off some calories and just a short drive away we stretched our legs visiting Aysgarth Falls, a triple drop waterfall where Kevin Costner famously waded in his breeches in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.
Guiltily recalling all those desserts we’d stuffed down, we made ourselves yomp across fields of sheep to Bolton Castle, one of many historic sites in the region, before the rain sent us scurrying back to the cosy fire in the hotel’s snug lobby.
We were sad when it was time to return to Leeds, though the drive through the Yorkshire Dales was stunning.
The Wensleydale Heifer really is a hidden gem and, as Wallace and Gromit might say, you’d be cheese and crackers not to go.