FAREWELL TO BRAIN DAMAGE COP My Paul is finally at peace but I can’t imagine ever wanting anyone else
SUNDAY MIRROR
a picture she had made for him. She had drawn a rainbow with her, me and Paul beneath it. I said, ‘Daddy is asleep’. She nodded. It was a comfort that she had seen him.” Paul died days later.
Lindsey says: “I got a call at 7am to say he had gone. I had seen him the evening before but then he went to sleep and died very peacefully.
“I went into Ella’s room and I told her ‘Daddy has died.’ She looked up at me and smiled and said, ‘Daddy has gone to heaven. He’s a star in the sky now.’
“From her room she can see the stars and she has been looking out at bedtime and saying ‘ There’s Daddy. He’s with nana and granddad.’ She’s at peace because she knows her Daddy is at peace. I went to see Paul a few hours after he had died. It wasn’t nice. It didn’t look like him - but then for the last 18 months Paul didn’t look like Paul. I cried and cried, but I was so relieved for him. He was finally out of his nightmare.”
There will be an inquest into Paul’s death later this month – one last court ordeal for Lindsey. She says: “Having to fight for Paul’s wishes was a terrible experience – one I don’t wish any other family to go through.
REALITY
“That’s why I’m urging others to make an Advance Decision about what treatment they want if they become incapacitated. People seem to think someone in a coma due to brain damage can wake up normally. The reality is much more unpleasant. Paul could have lived on in that state for years. A personal injury lawyer once told me it would be better if he was kept alive at least five years because we would get his full salary for the rest of our lives plus up to £1million compensation. But money can’t buy happiness – and I could never be at peace knowing Paul was suffering.”
Compassion in Dying says a third of Brits worry about becoming incapacitated but wrongly believe loved ones can act for us. Director Usha Grieve said: “Recording your wishes while you are well and able means, if the worst happens, what’s important to you will be known, respected and followed.”
On the day Paul died, Merseyside Police lowered their HQ flag in tribute to Constable 1490 Briggs. At his funeral on February 9, there was a guard of honour and four police horses escorted Lindsey, Ella, Paul’s mum, Jan, and brothers Jeff and Greg to Landican Crematorium.
“On the way people stood outside houses and bowed their heads,” says Lindsey. “There were Union flags and the force flag on his coffin. His army medals and police cap were on top. Jeff and Greg read tributes.
“We played the Elvis song ‘If I Can Dream’ and ‘It’s My Life’ by Bon Jovi – both Paul’s favourites. And I’d found a lovely poem, written as a tribute to a father, which was read out on Ella’s behalf. She loved it because it talked about birds and flowers and butterflies.”
Paul was later cremated. His family plan to scatter his ashes in a place he used to visit. But Lindsey will treasure some of them in a heart-shaped keepsake on their dressing table.
She says: “People ask if I’ve now got ‘closure’ b but that seems the wrong word. Now with Paul at peace I can remember him how he was, not what he became. He was a fit, proud, loving man – a great husband and father.
“So I’ve got those memories back. I know Paul will never leave me.”
Information about making Advance Decisions is on the Compassion in Dying website at makeityourdecision.org.uk
LINDSEY ON HER BATTLE TO WIN PAUL THE RIGHT TO DIE