End this sickening child bride horror
Iwas sick to the stomach watching the video on Mirror Online of a child bride, just five years old, being rescued by welfare officials just before being married off to her nineyear-old groom.
As the mother of a six-year-old daughter and nine- year- old son myself, I found the footage very disturbing. The little girl’s cry when she was rescued was chilling.
How can anyone do that to their child? According to the children’s rights activist Achyuta Rao, the parents were carrying out their “custom” in this part of India.
The charity Girls Not Brides (GNB) defines child marriage as “any formal marriage or informal union” where one or both parties are under 18.
It estimates 15 million girls each year are married before the age of 18 – that’s 28 girls every minute, or one every two seconds.
As a mother, woman and a person with a voice in the media, I can’t just sit back and not raise awareness of this barbaric and backward act.
It takes away a child’s human right to health, education and opportunity and, says GNB, it “exposes girls to violence throughout their lives and traps them into a cycle of poverty”.
This is truly a global problem and is practised by different cultures, religions and ethnicities.
Child brides are not new to me – and because I was aware of it, I was able to stop a cousin in Kashmir being married off at the age of 13.
All my extended family still live there, at the foothills of the Himalayas in Northern Pakistan.
I’ve visited on a few occasions, and while I love the people and the stunning environment, I’m uneasy about some of their customs and traditions – and find it so hard as a western, educated woman to try to accept, or even to ignore, some of the things that go on in the name of culture.
I saw first-hand that, while girls are allowed to go to school and get a basic education, they are groomed for marriage from a very young age.
As soon as they reach puberty, their freedom is under lock and key.
The biggest fear of any family is that their daughter will bring shame on them – so to ensure family honour remains intact, girls are married off as early as possible so they become the responsibility of the in-laws.
When I went to Kashmir a few years ago with my mum, I met my 13-year-old cousin and was struck by her confident personality and passion for learning English.
She was intelligent, smart and beautiful and I could see that, given the opportunity, she had the drive and passion to do anything.
She wanted to be a teacher – but she knew her aspirations were just dreams. She told me her parents were looking to marry her off. I remember the rage of injustice passing over me like a dark cloud and just knew I had to do something to help her.
As an outsider, you can’t just barge into people’s lives and demand change because you think your values are better – it can only be brought about through really understanding different people, communities and cultures.
With this insight, I knew I had to persuade my mum to get involved. As an elder, even though she’s a woman, she had respect – in Kashmir, respect holds power, and power brings about change.
So it was my amazing mum who, coming from there and understanding the customs and tra d i t i o n s , persuaded her brother ( father of my cousin) to delay thoughts of marrying of f hi s daughter until she was at least 18 – and then to think about it nearer the time if it was appropriate.
That 13-year-old cousin went on to qualify as a teacher, and married at 23.
The question we all have to ask is: If it’s not okay for my daughter to marry at six, why is it okay for someone else’s?
We can’t bring about change if we’re not willing to speak up and get involved. If you’d like to help end the practice of child brides around the world, please lend your support to @girlsnotbrides. Michelle Heaton bared all when she came on Loose Women this week, wearing a blue bikini to support our #mybodymystory campaign by revealing her hysterectomy and C-section scars for the first time.
What a great example of showing how to be confident in your own skin.
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