Since she had baby my wife’s gone off sex

sex, or the lack of it, is a major contributing factor.

Interestingly, it isn’t always the woman saying no.

Many men go off sex with their partner too. Sometimes it’s because they’ve been a bit traumatised by what they’ve witnessed in the delivery room.

Sometimes it’s due to what psychologists call the Madonna Complex (the religious figure, not the pop star).

Put simply, they put the mother of their precious new baby on a pedestal, seeing her as a goddess-like being who must not be violated, which means they can no longer be aroused by her. With new mothers, the problem is usually far less complicated.

Women tend to go off sex because they’re exhausted by lack of sleep, desperately don’t want to get pregnant again, or simply see sex as an expendable option when they are struggling to cope with a million and one new tasks.

After a while, sex has been put on the back burner for so long, it is difficult to get it started again.

But one Relate counsellor I know says you really should get counselling if you haven’t been intimate for a year since the birth. At that point you may need professional help. Call Relate on 0300 100 1234.

New mums go off sex because they are exhausted or desperately don’t want to get pregnant