Heartbreaking final words of TV star Holly’s tragic husband
HEARTBROKEN Waterloo Road star Holly Matthews today reveals how her six-year-old daughter has helped give her the strength to cope with her tragic husband’s death.
Holly lost 32-year-old soulmate Ross Blair to a brain tumour a week ago.
The actress, who has also starred in Casualty, Doctors and Byker Grove, was close to tears as she told how she comforted dying Ross at his bedside and tearfully asked him what his favourite memories were.
Struggling to draw breath, he told her: “You, you, you.”
Her voice breaking with emotion, she says: “We were really good friends from the minute we met. I will miss him so much.”
But she adds her eldest daughter, Brooke has given her the will to stay strong for her and her four-year-old sister Texas with some poignant words beyond her years.
Holly reveals: “Brooke said to me, ‘you’re Mummy and Daddy now, because Daddy is in you. You know what Daddy would have said’.
“Children are so open about life and death because they see it on Disney.
“I will deal with my grief by looking the tiger in the eye. My children need to know Daddy felt they’re the most important people.”
DENIAL
Property developer Ross died aged just 32 last Saturday in a hospice after a three-year battle with a rare grade four brain cancer.
Holly’s fans had been following his fight on a moving blog the actress wrote as surgery and chemotherapy failed to halt his tumour’s growth.
Holly, 32, says: “I know it hasn’t sunk in. I’m heartbroken. For me, now, he could still be at the hospice. It’s when we get back to normal and everybody goes away.
“My every day was waking up with Ross. Going for cups of tea, chatting, laughing. I’m in denial, even though I know he’s not here.”
Holly, who today shares favourite snaps of Ross, also tells how she has turned to friend and TV host Jeff Brazier, 38, for advice in guiding her children through the loss of their father – and facing his funeral on Wednesday.
The This Morning star has brought up his sons alone after their mum, Jade Goody, died of cancer in 2009. He published a book on dealing with grief earlier this year.
Holly added: “Jeff said my gut feeling was right. Allow the girls to say their goodbyes like adults – whether that’s saying sorry for something they think they’ve done wrong, crying and cuddling, saying they’re going to miss him.
“It was nice to hear from someone who had walked that path and has now dedicated his life to helping others. Ross and I are not religious. If the girls had come to me and said ‘I believe in heaven and God’ I would have gone with it, but they haven’t.
“I’ve told them, ‘write down all the people who love Daddy because they need to be at his funeral. Tell me where you want to sit, so you’ll be able to see and hear’.”
Ex-footballer Jeff also advised Holly on how to help her daughters after Ross
chose not to leave them letters or video messages. She says: “His instructions were clear: ‘I do not want my girls living on me making decisions when I’m not there. Saying certain things could hold them back, because it doesn’t allow them to look forward.’
“At 32 the amount of stuff Ross has done – that we as a couple and as a family have done – it’s like a life has been condensed. He said to me, ‘If I died tomorrow I would have done everything I wanted. I’ve no regrets. Tell people I was a good guy’.
“Ross was a big character. The quirkiest, out-there person. He didn’t have any embarrassment factor.”
The property developer also asked Holly not to be consumed by charity fundraising once he was gone – but she intends to continue supporting the Myton Hospices and the Brain Tumour Charity.
VISION
Sheffield Wednesday fan Ross – whose dad Andy played for Aston Villa and Coventry City - wanted guests at his funeral to wear football shirts .
Except those of Sunderland or Sheffield United – arch rivals to the couple’s own teams.
Holly says: “I’m a Newcastle fan, so there’s no red and white in our house – that’s the rule.”
After the service, final touches will be made to renovations Ross ordered at the family home in Coventry.
The girls will choose what to keep from their dad’s prized possessions. They have each been left a house in his will.
Ross asked for his clothes to be given to his brother Matty, 28, a footballer for League One Doncaster Rovers. Holly says: “This is not about clearing Daddy out. That would never be the case.
“By September both girls will be starting a new school. We’ll have a new car. It’s never going to be the same but it’s a new start.
“Ross and I spoke extensively with the architect on what we wanted the house to be like. It’s his vision being made. I have to honour what we’ve built together.”
Holly is paying back all costs of Ross’s time at the Coventry Myton Hospice. The Midlands group needs £8million a year in charity donations.
She says: “I’ll be doing stuff for them. The staff were incredible at every stage.” Holly, like Ross, believes NHS cuts should be reversed.
And wise little Brooke is already famous for a viral video last October berating Theresa May for not helping the homeless. Holly says: “We need to stop privatisation. NHS workers are heroes. Ross voted by proxy for Labour. He wanted his say. We can’t stand silent.”
Ross’s funeral is on Wednesday at Nuneaton Crematorium at 3.45pm. Donations instead of flowers are requested for Myton Hospice on the day or at justgiving.com/fundraising/ iamhollymatthews
The service is open to all. The wake is at Coventry’s Village Hotel.