Why I am changing gender for third time

Ria was born a boy, became Britain’s youngest sex-swap patient at 15 but transitioned back to being a man at 18. Now she wants to be a woman again

My mum supported me, but I moved out and went wild, drinking and taking drugs to cope with being different. I made so many mistakes.”

One of her biggest regrets is taking part in a Channel 4 documentary which revealed her job as a ladyboy called Lola.

“I was so ashamed,” she says. “I fell in love with a guy from the Army and he even introduced me to his family.

“We didn’t talk about my past, but they knew who I was and accepted it. Then his friends found out and that was it.

“It was the same pattern every time I met someone. So I decided if the only use men had for me was sex, then I’d charge them.”

The documentary, she says, blighted her life. “Every time I met someone they’d say, ‘You’re the girl from that documentary’. I couldn’t get away from it.

“It all became too much. I decided it would just all go away if I became male again.” But her brief spell as a boy lasted just a few months.

“It just felt wrong,” she says. “I came to the realisation pretty quickly I was doing it because I wanted all the problems associated with being transgender to go away. I was no longer able to hide who I really am. Not for family, or friends or potential boyfriends. I have to be true to myself.”

IDENTITY

Ria, who has already changed her passport to her female identity, had her counselling and assessments as a teen at the Tavistock gender identity clinic in London.

She says: “I know some people would say it was all too much, too young. But you know your own mind. You know when you’re living life in the wrong body.

“It’s not just playing with dolls or wearing make-up. It’s absolutely who you are.”

But life has not been easy since Ria committed to life as a woman. She spent six months in a violent relationship, but found it hard to walk away. “I loved him,” she says simply. Could it be Ria stuck by her abuser because she is just desperate to be loved? “Maybe,” she says sadly.

Even finding work has been difficult – she claims she lost a care home job after they found she was transgender.

“They said if I left the lid up when I went to the toilet, I’d confuse the clients. It’s just ridiculous.

“When I confronted the boss she admitted she’d seen the documentary and didn’t want me there. What can you do?” Ria now hopes to open a beauty salon for transgender people. But above all, she is desperate to have a family. “I’d love a child of my own,” she says. “I’d love to have a baby to cuddle and love and look after as they grow up. It’s not going to happen overnight, I know that. But I can dream can’t I?”