Husband is hurt by my grief for friend

too long it can destroy your life. So your husband is right to sound the alarm, and he clearly feels upset and distressed that he can’t help you. That, too, is natural. You may need expert help – from a bereavement counsellor.

Now, I know your first reaction will be that no amount of counselling will bring your best friend back.

That was my reaction, too, when it was suggested to me after my son died. But I am so glad I went along – because it really did help. A good counsellor almost helps absorb your pain and anger, and enables you to find your own way forward.

The first step is to get along to your GP. Your doctor may feel antidepressants would be good, too. Accept expert help. You may not care about yourself right now, but look after your health and try not to fall into the trap of numbing the pain with alcohol. The healthier your body, the better it will cope with the shock you are experiencing.

And please remember that while you are enduring despair, so too are those who love you who feel helpless as they watch you suffer.

Your best friend would not have wanted your life to fall apart. As a tribute to her, please enable others to help you rediscover your life and purpose.

You may not care about yourself now but don’t fall into the trap of numbing pain with alcohol

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