Why the saddest little boy ever needs your help for Childline
floors, there are more welcoming prison cells.
Dishevelled and neglected, you are an easy target for school bullies.
“You stink,” they sneer in the corridor. If only they knew why.
But that’s the problem – no one knows. You are too ashamed, too frightened to speak out.
I know you have no idea about Childline, and how they could help you. Like so many abused children, you suffer in silence.
With school life miserable and home even bleaker, you feel trapped.
But there is one place – a field at the bottom of the garden.
As you grow up you’ll sneak off there sometimes and sit on your own, stealing a few moments of solace.
When you are around six or seven, life becomes terrifying.
Every day Christine finds new ways to punish you. Bundling you into a dark, dirty cupboard, slinging you outside into the cold, stark naked.
In my mind’s eye now, I am with you, trembling, scared, full of if onlys. If only I’d called Childline for help. While other kids play with their presents at Christmas, she sells yours at car boot sales and keeps the cash.
Instead of being a family time, December 25 simply provides her with another weapon.
She leaves you without food for days on end while she gorges on crisps and chocolate. You creep into the kitchen and choke down handfuls of dog food and hamster biscuits.
When you turn 14 you land yourself a job with a mobile video service.
It gives you your first taste of independence – and you escape.
Greedy as ever, Christine starts sniffing around your pay cheque. But, bolstered by the taste of freedom, you do something you’ve never done before. You tell her “no”.
She reacts with fury, hitting you around the head with a wine bottle.
At last the penny drops. You realise she’s never going to change. You have to get out. For good. With nothing more than the clothes on your back, you flee. For a few years you live with your dad, a drinker who has now passed. Not ideal, but better than being tortured by Christine.
And, as her grip on you loosens, your fear ebbs away.
Then in 1997 something incredible happens to you. You have a child of your own – a daughter.
The first time you hold her you feel a surge of love like nothing else.
That’s when the true horror of everything Christine did to you really hits home. With this baby in your arms, who you want only to cherish and protect, your thoughts turn to the monster who abused you.
Why should this woman be allowed to walk the streets?
You may worry you’ve left it too long and the police can’t help.
Andrew, believe me, it’s never too late. In 2013, I finally found the courage to tell police what Christine did.
After years of being silenced I found my voice. And it was loud and clear. In 2017, I faced her in court. She spun a web of lies but the jury saw through them, finding her guilty of cruelty. Christine was finally jailed for three years. At last I was able to expose her for the barbaric savage she really is. That’s what I want you – and any other children out there who are suffering – to realise. You will be heard – because you are telling the truth, Christine, and abusers like her, might grind you down, make you feel like you deserve it, like there’s nowhere else for you to go. But they’re wrong. I know you’re scared, but please get help. One call – that’s all it takes. Childline will answer you, they’ll listen, keep you safe. Your torment with Christine may have convinced you that adults can’t be trusted, that you’re on your own. Silence that voice. It isn’t true. There are plenty of good people out there who want to help. With them by your side, you will never be alone.