Quotes of the week

Mission accomplished

thinks it’s all over in Syria

The Cold War is back - with a vengeance

UN secretary general says relations between Russia and the West have sunk to worst level in 30 years

I felt incandescent with rage

Broadcaster says she felt a sap after finding she was paid far less than her Radio 4 Today co-hosts

Do they want us to sit there in bow ties and waistcoats?

Snooker fan hits out at a ban on football shirts at this week’s World Championship

B ****** s. Always has been b ****** s and it remains so

Labour frontbencher is recorded slating his party’s Brexit policy

2018 - the first robot testified before Congress

A user mocks Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg’s appearance before US senators

It must have been written in invisible ink. What else could explain this glaring oversight?

Novelist -a friend of Prince Charles fails to get an invitation to the royal wedding

That’s a novel idea. A party of the rich, by the rich, for the rich

Shadow Labour chancellorJohn dismisses reports of a new centre party backed by millionaire donors

I don’t know about you but now bits of me keep falling off at regular intervals