HUGH GOT HIM NAILED

Democratic Unionist MPs propping up Theresa May tabled a Commons motion congratulating the Duke and Duchess of Sussex on their marriage, but confusingly called them Baron and Baroness Kilkeel. Those are their Irish titles. And the DUP promises a warm welcome to Baron Harry and Baroness Meghan in the mountains of Mourne.

Hugh Grant got it in the neck as an actor because the only part he seemed able to play was Hugh Grant.

Producers should have renamed his most celebrated movies Four Weddings and a Funeral Grant and Notting Hugh.

No one will say that after Grant’s magnificent performance as Jeremy Thorpe in new Sunday night BBC drama A Very English Scandal.

I knew the Liberal leader slightly, and once spent an agreeable supper with his lover Norman Scott. As it was late and we were in the middle of Dartmoor, he offered me a bed for the night. I declined. Thorpe was one of the most mesmerising, charismatic politicians I ever met, and might have been Foreign Secretary in a coalition. MI5 may have had a hand in ensuring he wasn’t. Bubbly Scots Tory leader Ruth Davidson has some of Thorpe’s qualities. And being gay is no longer a barrier to high office. Just don’t shoot any Great Danes, Ruth. Defra staff are worrying for the future of their artificial plants now boss Michael Gove is on a crusade to ban single-use plastics. After all, a plastic flower has a single use – as a flower. The Environment Secretary might better spend his time sorting out food labelling so we can avoid American products. A statistic for you. One in 66 Brits gets food poisoning in a year. In the US, it’s one in six.