Quotes of the week

I’ve been practising since I was a little kid

England player Eric Dier reassures fans about his penalty taking

Perhaps we could help the Bengal tigers by feeding them members of the House of Lords

Boris Johnson discovers there are more peers than Bengal tigers

I’ll just step out of the way

Camilla keeps a safe distance as Prince Charles is shown how to use a power drill

I’m sick of being humble. So sorry I’m rich, so sorry I’m married to a movie star, so sorry I’m not bad looking. No sorrys. Enough

Catherine Zeta-Jones is done with modesty

He works more than me so I’m probably jealous

Poldark star Aidan Turner admits resenting his costar, Carrick the dog

I didn’t believe you could have someone alive on a stamp apart from the Queen

Dad’s Army actor Ian Lavender is pictured on a set of stamps marking the show’s 50th anniversary

Suck it up and accept there is no alternative other than the customs union and single market

Pro-EU MP Anna Soubry taunts voters who backed Brexit

Call a Dick a Dick, I say

MP Michael Fabricant on news that Spotted Dick was renamed Spotted Richard in a Commons dining room

The epicentre was in Grimsby - as is the epicentre for everything else

BBC newsreader Calum Macdonald on a 3.9 magnitude earthquake in Lincs

Don’t get me wrong, I love my child, but it’s hell

Singer Paloma Faith finds motherhood a struggle