Happy mind days
Mondays dancer Bez is buzzing over slot in Mastermind chair
HAPPY Mondays star Bez has ditched booze and drugs to prepare for TV’s Mastermind – but still doesn’t fancy his chances admitting: “I’m not the smartest button in the box.”
The dancer, 55, who left school without passing any exams, will be on the BBC1 show alongside ex-footballer Darren Bent, 35, Line of Duty actress Maya Sondhi and celebrity florist Elizabeth McKenna, 39, this Christmas.
The rivals will be qizzed on general knowledge and a specialist subject by host John Humphrys, 76, and Bez has chosen to answer questions on...bees.
“I’m studying beekeeping which I’m regretting now because I didn’t realise how many Latin expressions are involved with it.
BUZZ
“I’ve been doing it for over five years and I was hoping that’d get me by.
“But then when I started reading the bloody stuff I realised there is a lot more to it.
“The good thing about bees is we have a lot in common – we love to buzz, we love honey, have short attention spans and love to dance.”
“Academically I’m not the smartest button in the box but I don’t feel I have to prove myself. If I don’t get one single question right though... that would be embarrassing.
“I didn’t do GCSEs. I did three CSEs. But I was abysmal because I had a motorcycle accident so I missed half the exams.
“One of the teachers said I had no chance in the workplace, but I managed to make my way as a boggle-eyed dancer.”
Bez – real name Mark Berry – was asked to join the 90s Madchester band because of his freaky moves. Led by Shaun Ryder, they had hits like Kinky Afro, Hallelujah and Step On.
Shaun, 57, once said: “Everyone thinks Bez is on about 8 Es.”
But Bez insists the only mind-altering substance he’s on now is herbal medicine Gingko. “It’s supposed to improve your mental memory,” he said. “It’s my brain drug but I forgot to bring it today so I’m not off to a good start.”
Shaun came fourth on the quiz last year answering questions on Manchester.
“Shaun and I are on the same intelligence level,” said Bez. “We’re not that clever. I’m sure we’ll do equally as badly.”
Last year Bez was disqualified from a BBC Bargain Hunt special where he battled with Pulp’s Jarvis Cocker to buy and sell antiques for a profit.
Relatives are banned from bidding – but Bez’s girlfriend bought his lots to win by £8.
“I did think about getting her to blink in the audience if I’m getting it wrong,” Bez laughs. “But you can’t cheat on Mastermind. You get caught.”
Bez on stage with the Mondays this summer