Gender-neutral kids are the way forward
Iwas brought up believing it was one rule for girls and another for boys. And as a Muslim girl, the rules were stricter – covering from how I sat and spoke, to who I could mix with and talk to. I was the weaker sex. Inferior. And, yes, some people might roll their eyes and dismiss it as PC-brigade nonsense. But I wish gender-neutral parenting had been around when I was a kid.
I might then have been spared a lifetime of sexist treatment and discrimination in the workplace.
So I admire Jake England-Johns and Hobbit Humphrey who spoke out this week about parenting their 17-month-old child Anoush as gender-neutral.
The “neutral” refers to them trying to behave neutrally towards Anoush, rather than trying to make them neutral, Jake insists.
Children raised this way have equal access to toys, opportunities and ambitions. So dress your baby boys in pink, buy your girls trucks. Let boys cry and show emotion. Let girls be opinionated, not “bossy”.
Gender-neutral parenting is catching on because it makes sense. Celebs such as Paloma Faith and Kate Hudson adopt this approach.
Because wouldn't it be good to live in a time when a boy called Billy taking ballet lessons doesn't warrant a whole film?
I'll never forget the day I took my son, aged four, to a local playgroup to meet some new mums. There were loads of toys there – a little kitchen, a fire engine, a police car and a mini vacuum cleaner.
The boys made a beeline for the fire engine and police car.
But my son went straight for the hoover and kitchen.
I was mortified and could see some of the other mothers staring at him like he was a weirdo.
But why was I embarrassed and ashamed? My little boy was having fun and mimicking what he sees his mummy do every day at home.
He was just playing, exploring and learning. But society doesn't want boys to play with girls' toys. The toy-making companies don't because gender stereotyping is big business. And it's only been since the 50s that the great pink/blue divide took hold.
I'm glad there's a fightback against these unhelpful labels. In fact John Lewis has even ditched the “boy” and “girl” labels on its children's clothes.
Let girls wear the trousers. Let boys grow their hair. It does not mean they are confused about their gender or sexuality – it just means they are individuals. Equals.
There is also good science to back up the benefits of gender-neutral parenting.
One study found that kids enrolled in Sweden's genderneutral kindergarten system had access to more opportunities, which the researchers predicted would equate to more success as adults.
So if we want equal rights for women – and to stop young men killing themselves because they are too afraid to show their emotions – we need to look again at how we are bringing up the next generation.
And let's fight for equal play, not just equal pay.