Election Unwrapped

TWIT

The Tories can’t even get their manifesto launch right. It’s today but on Twitter they said it was yesterday. Bungling Boris didn’t even notice the howler and retweeted it, reminding followers to ‘Vote Conservative’. At this rate he’ll tell them to do so on December 13... the day after the polls close.

EXILED

English Democrats’ candidate Amy Dalla Mura was left red-faced after magistrates banned her from visiting her Broxtowe constituency until after polling day.

She was found guilty of harassing pro-Remain Tory rival Anna Soubry.

FRIT?

Johnson left Channel 4 bosses “gutted” when he pulled out of a debate with Corbyn scheduled for later today. He’d just seen a copy of Labour’s manifesto.

PANTO

Labour’s Andrew Gwynne to Michael Gove in the green room of the leaders debate: “I know it’s panto season but, come on, you’re behaving like a dame.” Gove: “You should be leader after Jeremy loses.” Catty.

D’OH!

Nigel Farage says tax breaks for the richest would “lift the burden off the NHS for those who cannot afford private insurance cover”. A rather bright thing to do, he thought.

BRAIN TWISTER

Andrea Leadsom asked by the BBC how the PM would pay to cut business rates: “You’re assuming that money comes from somewhere.” Er, a money tree?

BATTY

Ex-Labour supporter Maureen Lipman – she of the BT ads – has lost the plot: “If Screaming Lord Sutch were standing, I’d vote for him as he’s saner than this lot.”

TRUE OR FALSE

Jez sent a message to members praising Labour’s “incredible” manifesto. Just as BBC TV was asking experts whether it was actually credible at all.

FAIR COP

Norfolk police have complained after Norwich South Labour candidate Clive Lewis used a photo of a chief constable on campaigning material. It might look like the police were endorsing Labour, they said. As if…