I refuse to be a snowflake mum
Every week, hubby Steve and I make a point of taking the kids to do our local parkrun. It’s great for fresh air and exercise, as well as for family bonding.
And last week, when Steve was away, I also realised how important it is for character building in this age of mollycoddling kids.
My eight-year-old daughter Amara was clearly suffering from lazyitis so tried it on by saying she had a bit of a tummy ache.
As parents, most of us know when our kids are making excuses.
I put my hand on her forehead – she wasn’t hot or sweaty and her colour was normal too. So I told her she’d feel better after a wash and a bite to eat, and off we set.
The objective of parkrun is to have fun, but also to set your personal best time, and to keep beating it each time.
I use this opportunity to give my kids a lesson in pushing themselves – which children these days don’t get at school where prizes are given out to everyone, winners or losers.
As a two-time marathon runner myself, I know all too well how your body gets to a point when your mind gives up. But you have to ignore it and find the motivation to keep on track.
So we set off on our run and within minutes, Amara was moaning: “I can’t do this, I feel sick, it’s too hard.” Running beside her, I
could see she was absolutely fine. She was a little out of breath, so I slowed down a tad. All the time I was encouraging and motivating her. I tried to take her mind off the run telling her I would treat her to a lovely Christmas bun afterwards.
I told her how proud I was of her and that she was doing such a great pace.
She moaned again and again, and I realised I had to be more assertive: “Amara, you need to start being more positive. You do this run every week, and you know you can do it. Focus on your breathing and start saying, ‘I can’.”
As I was saying this, we overtook another mum running with her son, who asked Amara: “Are you alright there?” I looked at her in amazement and said: “Yes she is.”
We crossed the finish line and
Amara said: “I think I’m going to be sick.” I said: “That’s because you’ve pushed yourself. It’s normal – so if you want to be sick, that’s OK.”
At which point the other mum said: “Excuse me, do you think that’s right for your daughter to be sick after a run?”
I genuinely could not believe my ears, and retorted angrily: “Can you please stop interfering with my parenting skills – she is my daughter and I know what’s best for her.”
Of course, Amara wasn’t sick, and she did her best-ever 5k run at a time of 28 minutes.
But that woman played on my mind because she made me feel like a bad mother.
Then I realised I’m totally at odds with this overindulgent snowflake parenting. You can’t just opt out of a task because you’re finding it too hard.
It’s called discipline. Ask my kids and I think they’d say I’m strict but fair. How else are they going to cope as adults?