The trans MAN who gave birth to his non binary partner’s baby, after finding a trans woman sperm donor ... and even the doctor was trans
Facebooked a contact who is a trans woman but can still produce sperm.
Reuben adds: “I thought they would be perfect.
“Sperm donation is a big decision to make, but when we asked the donor, it felt so right. We sent a message on Facebook to ask.”
Jay and Reuben chose to have IUI, which means the sperm was inserted into Reuben’s womb by a doctor at a private fertility clinic. Three rounds of treatment cost £6,000.
Reuben goes on: “The first round didn’t work. They gave me a fertility injection and I released too many eggs. We couldn’t go through with that attempt as we could have ended up with six children!
“Deflated, we became convinced it wasn’t going to work.
“We tried a second time and the earliest point I could test was on my birthday. We’d been on edge for weeks.
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“I did the test, ignored it and went to brush my teeth. Suddenly Jay was shouting me into the room and telling me to look – it was a positive result.”
The pair did five more pregnancy tests to be certain – then celebrated.
The months ahead were a rollercoaster of emotions... joy at their impending birth, discomfort at getting strange looks in hospital waiting rooms and sadness at bigotry from some people unwilling to understand or accept their situation. Jay says: “Sometimes we’d go to appointments and be treated like celebrities.
“It felt uncomfortable and made us sad because it was happening at such important times when we were going to see our baby. Both of us just wanted a normal experience.”
Reuben adds: “I found it frustrating that people didn’t just ask my gender or not use it. I look like a man, have a beard.
“It’s bizarre you wouldn’t just avoid saying ‘she’. People asked very invasive questions about body parts and how I’d give birth. Giving birth isn’t a trans thing. Women give birth in different ways too.”
The pair praised the way they were treated by specially-trained midwives at