Why we should all try ex-mas cheer
Christmas is a season of giving. That’s why it’s so heartwarming to read today about Sue Gardner, who moved her dying ex-husband into her home with her new hubby… and the three spent Christmas Day together.
Christmas with your ex isn’t as weird as it sounds – I should know, I’ve just done it.
This year, Ray came over on Christmas Eve and spent Christmas Day with me and the three kids.
We had the best time. Because it’s sad when you’ve spent so much of your life with someone and all you can focus on is the bad stuff.
I’ll admit, Ray and I had a hard three or four years at the end of our relationship.
But we had 12 fantastic years together and we have a beautiful daughter. And now we get on better than we ever did.
The kids didn’t need to spend half a day with me and then half a day with him.
But I was glad – and it’s a joint feeling – that he was leaving after two days!
I would encourage couples to rise above the other rubbish and give it a try.
Obviously, if it’s been an abusive relationship it’s never going to work and you should not even consider it. But if it’s just a case of the marriage coming to a natural end, then why not be friends?
Before Christmas, Ciara and I went to New York and Ray came over and looked after the house and pets.
We have family parties and no one is left feeling awkward, either. We are both dead happy now so there’s no point in being bitter or stuck in the past.
And I’m equally as good friends with my ex, Shane. Life is too short.
The last two years have been hard and me and Ray weren’t getting on. It was really difficult so I’m happy we’ve got our friendship back.
This Christmas was amazing. Ciara made us all Christmas Eve boxes, which we opened together and Ray stayed over… in the spare room, of course.
In the boxes were pyjamas and face masks so we all put them on. She got him Grinch ones as we used to always call him the Grinch at Christmas.
We got up in the morning and did the presents, then I did a Full English for everyone before the turkey dinner with all the trimmings.
It was a proper family Christmas with lots of board games and laughter.
We don’t have any partners so maybe that’s why it worked well.
If Ray had a new girlfriend, I’d be inviting her round too but I understand it might be difficult. If she did see us laughing together, she might feel insecure, and that’s normal.
I still love both my ex-husbands – as mates. The hardest part is having a new partner who can cope with it. So good on Sue and her husband.