A BRIT SKIING WIN? NOR WAY!
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This week I have been gripped by the cricket match between Afghanistan and Zimbabwe, in which the Afghans scored more than 500. (That’s a lot.)
The story of Afghan cricket is astonishing. It began in 2001 after the Americans started bombing the country. Tens of thousands fled to refugee camps in Pakistan.
To ease the boredom, the Pakistanis taught cricket to the refugees, many of whom became obsessed with the game, until they had a side good enough to compete in international matches.
The British need to learn from this. We should ask the Americans to bomb us, then we can all flee to Norway.
In 20 years we’ll win our first skiing gold medals at the Winter Olympics. From there, we should keep fleeing, to learn sports we’ve never been any good at.
We could start a civil war in Wiltshire, so they can all flee to Saudi Arabia. Then in 20 years the UK will be ranked Number 3 in the world at camel racing, with a silver medal going to Mister Tidmarsh, who used to run a garden centre near Salisbury.
One day, if England play as they did in the recent series against India, we might have to flee to Afghanistan to learn how to play cricket.
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