Women shouldn’t have to live in fear
The death of Sarah Everard has sent shockwaves through the nation. My thoughts are with her family and friends who have lost this bright, kind young woman.
A Met police officer has been charged with the kidnap and murder of the 33-year-old marketing executive.
The case has made many women – including me – extra fearful for our safety. Since Sarah’s disappearance just over a week ago, thousands of women have taken to social media to share their personal stories of being followed, stalked and intimidated.
A UN Women’s report this week said more than 70 per cent of women in Britain have experienced sexual harassment in public.
So I’m enraged by some who fail to acknowledge the very real, everyday problem of harassment that women face. The tiny, unconscious acts we perform every time we leave the house – not just for our safety, but for our sanity.
Obviously not every catcall ends in death, but it’s part of the same problem – and women have to continually adjust their behaviour.
Like I have had to this week, after I was accosted during the simple, everyday task of walking my dog.
I was walking along a canal, close to where I live. I let my puppy Vera off the lead and she started to bark at a cat.
Suddenly a man in his 30s appeared from a houseboat, screaming. He kicked Vera and started to hurl abuse at me. Many would have fled at this point, but I don’t take kindly to bullies, so I shouted: “How dare you kick my dog?” He then told me to “f*** off ” and started coming towards me, shouting more abuse. I rang the police, yet he continued to follow me, trying to intimidate me.
I have to commend the police on arriving swiftly. While I was giving my statement, a woman came up and said she’d overheard what had happened and revealed how several others had suffered similar experiences with this man.
I got a call from the police later to say he had been given a warning. This is a relief, but is it enough? Will he listen? What happens next time if he doesn’t?
So, although I’m determined not to let fear control my life, I walk along the towpath in the opposite direction now. Just in case.
I have had to change my behaviour because of this man. Of course, like so many women, this isn’t the only frightening incident I’ve experienced – and sadly, it won’t be the last.
In the wake of Sarah’s disappearance, police advised women to stay at home and be “extra vigilant”. As so many have said online – why aren’t they instead telling these men to stay at home and stop being creeps? Why is it always women who have to change their habits, routines and lifestyles?
The threat of men harassing women in public is very real, and the damage these experiences cause impacts the way we live. We shouldn’t have to feel scared walking the streets on our own. Society needs to take the safety of women seriously. And it shouldn’t have taken the tragic death of a young woman to highlight the issue. Again.
Why is it always us who have to change our lives?
Queen of the chat show Oprah Winfrey definitely bagged the interview of the decade with Harry and Meghan. I’ve always admired her and what she stands for.
If you want to get things off your mind, then Oprah is definitely the go-to because she is all about emotions and feelings.
Some have criticised her for not pressing the Sussexes on some of the shocking revelations they made, but I don’t feel that was her job.
She wasn’t so much interviewing Harry and Meghan, but facilitating what they wanted to offload.
It’s not necessary to interview guests who give you the information readily. Oprah did the right thing – offering minimal intervention.