Nation’s money secrets revealed

New campaign gets us talking about our finances

Money is an emotional thing. I liken it to a diet or our weight – we don’t like to talk about it much because we worry others will judge us.

Not talking about money is causing problems in society though, and there’s a big psychological impact.

Mind, the mental health charity, puts it well. It says poor mental health means managing money is harder, and worrying about money makes mental health worse. There’s a vicious circle effect at play.

But thankfully, there are organisations working to change this, and one of them is the Money & Pensions Service (MaPS).

They recently ran a campaign to improve financial wellbeing by encouraging people to open up about their finances, from pocket money through to pensions. And the campaign – called Talk Money Week – revealed the lengths we go to in hiding our finances, even from those we love.

A study of more than 5,200 people across the UK revealed 40% have secret financial products, with credit cards top of the list at 37%. A further 23% have concealed personal loans and 21% have secret savings accounts.

People in relationships are the most guilty of underestimating their partner’s money secrets.

Just 23% suspect their significant other of hiding something, while 45% admit to actually doing so. A further 30% say their partner does not know their approximate annual income.

According to MaPS, millennials – people born approximately 1985-1995 – are the most secretive generation, with 59% saying they have undisclosed financial products, compared to just 26% of those aged 65 and over. But

37% of us have a credit card that our partner has no idea even exists

other than emotions, are there reasons we find it hard to talk about our finances?

I always bring it back to the way our minds work. American motivational speaker and life coach Tony Robbins says we all have six human needs driving our behaviour – certainty, variety, significance, connection/love, growth and contribution – and how much importance we place on these depends on our childhood and life influences.

Financially, two of these needs are somewhat conflicting: connection/ love, and significance.

The former means we want some kind of monetary connection, whether that’s sharing our plans and aspirations or getting some help with the bills. But the latter means we like to stand out from the crowd.

If we don’t meet our need for significance with our finances, we’re likely to keep secrets. For example, having your own money which you don’t tell your partner about is, as the MaPS research suggests, very important to some people.

All couples integrate their finances in different ways but when, how and how far to go are all questions that need careful consideration.

As always, communication is key. So whatever your approach, don’t let money get in the way of your relationship – it’s just the oil that makes things run more smoothly.

Learn more about money and relationships by searching for The Money Planner podcast online.