Rio flop is tops

I WAS slow out of the blocks with the Olympics this time round.

I’ve always enjoyed the four- yearly sports fest – London 2012 especially – but Rio just wasn’t lighting my flame.

The early events failed to capture my enthusiasm and I sympathised with that bored lifeguard snapped stifling a yawn.

But what really got on my nerves was the relentless, OTT gushing of BBC commentators over every “inspirational” performance.

Like diving commentator Leon “WOW! Oh My GOD!!!” Rogers who deserves gold medals f or hyperbole and superlatives.

And Matt Baker breaking new records in partisanship as he screamed on the GB gymnasts.

But as I lay on my sofa t utting and sighing I knew the real reason for my lack of Olympic spirit. Jealousy.

I’ve been ill for ages and never felt so fat and out of condition in my life.

I’m having physio and hydrotherapy but I know I’ve got a way to go before I can get back in the gym and fully fit.

And, seeing all those superfit sportsmen and women made me feel even more inadequate. Pathetic, I know.

But then an unknown swimmer called Robel Habte bellyflopped into my pool of self-pity. The 24-year-old Ethiopian was mocked mercilessly and dubbed “Robel the Whale” after turning up for his 100m freestyle with a paunch hanging over his Speedos.

He hit the water, gave it his all, but came in 17 seconds slower than the winner – and last of all 59 competitors. Growing up in a land famed for its runners, rebel Robel dreamed of being a swimmer, but never even got to train in an Olympic-sized pool.

Then a car crash stopped him training for two months and he piled on six stones struggling to get back in condition before Rio.

“I was not surprised I finished far behind and last,” Robel admitted.

“I know my body is fat but I will lose the weight and when I go to Canada for