Dented reputations
Labour pair shoot themselves in feet Comic James Martin tweets: “Make Islamic State leaders into Pokémon. They wouldn’t last 10 minutes before capture.”
SOMETHING has been bothering me. Although not enough to keep me awake at night.
Whenever I’ve seen a soldier’s 400-year-old breastplate in a museum or antique shop, there’s always a musket ball dent in it.
Yet it seems implausible that a bullet bounced off everyone who fought in the English Civil War.
As worries go it’s not up there with nuclear war or climate change, but as a history nerd such matters niggle.
I finally found the answer last week in a display at Newcastle’s old castle. The armourers who made this gear shot them with a pistol to guarantee they were bullet-proof – which is where the expression comes from.
There should be a political equivalent to stop politicians shooting themselves in the foot. Let’s call it making them fool-proof.
Jeremy Corbyn was a fool to sit outside a train khazi on his way to Newcastle calling for the nationalisation of the railways.
Had the train really been “ram-packed” it would have been a foolproof stunt. With seats available it was a foolish one. On Sunday I took the same 11 o’clock Virgin East Coast service to Newcastle, the floor of which Corbers merrily rolled around 10 days earlier. It was crowded, and only a fool wouldn’t have booked a seat. Jezza’s leadership challenger Owen Smith was also shot down for saying we should negotiate with Islamic State.
I know what he meant, but it needed expressing differently. Ultimately Britain negotiates with all terrorists and Smithy knows that because he worked on the Northern Ireland peace process for three years talking to the IRA.
He should’ve said IS must be militarily defeated and its remnants would need to stop chopping off heads and crucifying people. Then maybe, just maybe, a dialogue might begin.
As Smith himself admitted to BBC Radio 4: “You’ve got to weigh your language carefully. I have not been judicious enough about that.”
The moment the wrong words come out of politicians’ mouths we leap down their throats. That’s why the more experienced ones never say anything meaningful. Perhaps we should cut them some slack. Like the breastplate, I’m glad I got that off my chest.