Bird brained show fits bill
Inferno Cert 12A Storks Cert U
HELLFIRE and brimstone would be a relief next to the purgatory of watching Tom Hanks’s third outing as bible-bothering super sleuth Robert Langdon.
Inferno is, if possible, even more ridiculous than The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons.
A mad scientist obsessed with population control plans to release a disease which will wipe out billions of people around the world.
Prof Langdon, helped by Felicity Jones’s Dr Sienna Brooks, stumbles about Italy in a state of amnesia like a geriatric Jason Bourne. Inferno is a preposterous mash- up of shoot- outs combined with a discussion of Renaissance poet Dante, whose death mask is missing from a museum. Langdon, whose speciality i s religious symbols, becomes a suspect.
With Brooks tagging along, he has to evade the law and assassins while trying to save the world.
Inferno plays out like a James Bond from the late Roger Moore era – complete with useless henchmen in flash locations and a powerful secret organisation patrolling the globe in a supertanker.
Sadly, Inferno lacks 007’s daft innuendo, winks to the audience and Moore’s enigmatic eyebrows.
There are visions of hell on earth, conspiracies, art destroyed and Langdon drinking nice coffee.
Director Ron Howard gives the film as much energy as possible and astonishingly everyone involved keeps a straight face.
If you miss this disaster, don’t worry, no doubt writer Dan Brown will be back with another one soon. THIS fast-moving adventure offers loopy entertainment for the little ones and is just in time for half term.
The animation is great, the slapstick is fun and its good-natured energy propels the silly story along.
Storks have moved out of baby delivering and now operate a general service to rival Amazon.
When they are accidentally landed with a real baby, the storks set off to deliver it to the right address, pursued by a wacky pack of wolves.
Kelsey Grammer and Jennifer Aniston are the voices you’ll recognise as the stork boss and a career-minded mum. After your kids see this, be prepared for questions on where babies really come from. Good luck with that.