Bling it on, Prez

Braced for a record Buster at Xmas tills

eg rill eir nd ot. nk bie ual I IW WISH we’d seen the Obamas showingsho their successors around the White House. President-electPr Donald Trump (seriously?) and his wife Melania got a tour of the state roomsroom and private residence they’ll be able to refurbishre to their own taste. I Ib bet they clocked the modern art, muted colourscolo and discreet drapes Michelle chose – andan threw each other that look TV estate agentsagen Phil and Kirstie share when they come acrossacro avocado bathroom suites and stone cladding. AndA the Curators of 1600 PennsylvaniaPe Avenue must be bricking it as they wait to se see how the King of Bling w will Make the White House G Great Again. Especially if they’ve seen the photos of Donald and Melania’s 53-room penthouse in Trump Tower, Manhattan, don done up in Liberace – sorry – Lou Louis XIV style. C Ceiling paintings, marble colu columns, plush furnishings with the Trump logo,logo an indoor fountain and enormous chandelierscha like the one Del Boy smashed in Only Fools and Horses. Every surface in the gaudy mini VersaillesVe is gilded or embellished like a giantgia box of Ferrero Rocher. Once in the White House the Trumps willwi be able to borrow art and sculpture fromfro the nation’s finest galleries. The Obamas favoured 20th century artists such as Edward Hopper and Mark Rothko and a bust of civil rights leader Martin Luther King.

But the Trumps may prefer their own gold cherubs, reproduction Renoirs – or a print of Melania naked on a rug from her GQ lads mag shoot.

What will they do to the grounds? Rip up Michelle Obama’s vegetable plot and replace it with a putting green? Make Bill Clinton’s jogging track a karting circuit for son Barron’s mini Mercedes?

Barack’s baseball court could house a spa, with a hot tub like Bill Clinton’s, plus a tanning booth and hair salon.

And Donald’s rug needs urgent attention... he’ll have to design one for the Oval Office.

Barack’s rug features quotes from former Presidents: “Government of the People, By the People, For the People” and “The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Fear Itself”. Trump could plump for “Build That Wall” and “Lock Her Up.”

But the biggest worry is what he’ll do to the White House’s famous facade.

Five years ago at a reporters’ dinner Obama mocked The Donald’s rumoured presidential ambitions with a spoof picture of a Trump White House, above – gold pillars, a neon sign and bikini-clad women in the fountain. It brought the house down.

But who’s laughing now?