Ofally nice folks
ACTOR Ricky Tomlinson sobbed We Have on Gold channel’s viewing his Been Watching while with on-screen bathroom scene going into labour daughter Denise A beautiful on The Royle Family. late star tribute to the show’s one final and writer that had missing irony. It was only Caroline Aherne’s Gogglebox commentary. TUESDAY night in the jungle and Carol Vorderman whispers to Scarlett Moffatt that she fancies comedian Joel Dommett. doesn’t. The best jungle series aren’t great simply because of three-week arguments but because of brilliant characters.
The brutal truth is that none of this year’s recruits can hold a candle to Lady C or David Van Day.
Only Danny Baker and Scarlett didn’t feel like second-choice bookings (Jordan Banjo instead of Ashley Banjo, littleknown Olympian Sam Quek instead of shamed Olympian Ryan Lochte).
Unfortunately the producers only made it worse.
You see, the only time the show’s title was hollered was when Ant & Dec were holding on to the rope bridge before the opening titles – not a soul quit mid-trial, which has never happened before.
And yet, with full bellies all round, campmates were still rewarded with additional snacks.
Martin alone tried rocking the boat, only to be ignored then assimilated, like The Borg from Star Trek: The Next Generation, creating an entertainment vacuum. Naturally, Ant & Dec tried desperately to convince us everyone getting along equals a great series.
They even labelled Martin Roberts vomiting blended cockroaches “a classic trial” rather than unwatchable.
I will, however, accept that for the first time ever the show picked up in the final week, with ITV sending Scarlett into an ostrich enclosure dressed as Bernie Clifton and Adam Thomas confronting every trial like a Haka: “Wah! Fooargh! Farrgh! Ohh a-sah! Argh! Argh! DAH-WAH-BAH!”
Which just about keeps it above the humdrum Dougie Poynter and Kian Egan years, but still the third dullest.
In fact it was Ant who inadvertently delivered the definitive verdict on I’m A Celebrity 2016 as “Mr Bushtucker Trial” Adam was up to his armpits in rancidness on Friday night with the next load being poured on to him: “That’s offal.”
Absolutely bloody offal. YOU expect complete codswallop from EastEnders. But I can’t recall a more barmy story than Cassandra from Only Fools and Horses quitting as community centre Christmas play director because the cast revolted after she gave the role of panto o horse to back-fromthe-dead dead Kathy Beale and Private Pike from Dad’s Army (rear r end). Beats the endless ess bin collectionsctions saga, ,I I suppose.ose.e.