More the merrier
WEATHER guru Dave King, who uses nature predicted for his forecasts, that on ITV back in January is going to be the start of June off for a week scorching. So I’m I’ll to soak up the sun. obviously be taking a snow waterproofs and shovel. Just in case. IT was a bloke backstage with an aside, during the fourth batch of auditions, who got me thinking.
“How can you not be entertained watching Britain’s Got Talent?” he asked a fellow hopeful.
Well, off the top of my head, when it’s packed with sob stories, dishonestly fails to mention acts’ professional showbiz credentials, puts street-dance crews in fancy dress, encourages the modern pox of audiences applauding midway through a song, overloads on choirs and teenage pianists flagrantly tugging the heartstrings, and sends every single child through with the false hope they’re the next big thing. That’s how. Alas, it’s been the norm for BGT 11, a show usually saved by the only golden buzzer that matters – David Walliams’s.
Yet even that was rendered impotent for the first time when the producers forced his hand with the guilt that he’d previously told schoolboy Kyle Tomlinson to get singing lessons.
Sound advice, as it turned out, and it produced a vastly improved performance three years later, which goes to show what can be achieved if you give youngsters critical honesty rather than fast-tracking them all.
The final straw came last night when the panel set the bar so low that every last one of the acts received a “yes”.
Underpants
But the heart of BGT’s problems is that the main ITV show feels obliged to show the auditions of everyone we’ll be seeing in next week’s live semi-finals, no matter how samey and dull it makes the series – ironic for a “variety” show.
The result is a predictable conveyor belt process.
Everything, in fact, that ITV2’ s far superior Britain’s Got More Talent is not.
That’s a place of wall-to-wall fun and the natural home these days for the entertaining have-a-go whackos.
What makes BGMT a real delight is the interaction between the acts and Stephen Mulhern, who’s as brilliant here as Ant & Dec are on the main channel.
He has the gift of hosting as if he’s watching from home.
So there he was, straddling the face of Dave while playing the role of his dog Max to reenact their canine agility routine, and persuading a bloke whose act was reading out his certificates of achievement to strip to his underpants to liven up the act.
He somehow gets them all to play along, no matter how daft it makes them look. It’s a joy to behold. The flagship programme needs to become more like that, otherwise Simon Cowell’s verdict to roller skaters Annette & Yannick might as well be an admission of what needs urgently addressing: “My issue is we’ve seen this before, so as much as I like it, I got a bit bored halfway through.” Here lies BGT 2017. Column returns in a fortnight. CHANNEL 4 devoted five nights to proving beyond doubt that criminal court cases are tedious. And by the end of The Trial: A Murder in the Family, with real barristers and a judge but actors playing the defendant and witnesses, the jury failed to reach a flippin’ verdict. Straight-laced prosecutor Max Hill: “The jury don’t want theatricals and drama.” Maybe, but TV viewers do. Guilty as charged, C4.