You turned would-be dictator into a zombie

Cracking the whip EMAIL arrives headed: Saudi Arabic is destabilising the world.” Saudi Arabia surely. It was sent by the Institute for Public Accuracy! Now May has Norway to go with Brexit

TWITTER followers of Gerry Adams are being tweeted to updates on the progress of Tweetie, the Sinn Fein president’s hooded crow.

Adams is nursing the bird back to health after a dog grabbed it. But as Tweetie only has one leg the ex-IRA man has to endure endless jibes about kneecapping. Just proves Adams will do anything for the caws. JEREMY Corbyn’s catchphrase is “You know what...” And, you know what, Theresa May could just about get away with staying on at No10. She’s not the dead woman walking of George Osborne’s vindictive imagination but the undead, rising from the political grave clanking her chains like a zombie. It might yet work well for everyone, except old Corbers. And I’d like to claim it was the People wot hung it. Remember the Sunday before polling day? We urged you to vote tactically to keep Mrs May’s majority down. We didn’t expect you to go quite so far as hanging her Parliament, but with a useless campaign and manifesto she gave voters enough rope to string it up. We said on June 2: “If we are mug enough to vote for her in droves she could do what she likes with no checks and balances.” Now she can’t. If she tries to become a dictatorial control freak again she’s toast and she knows it.

Her Cabinet and backbench MPs now rule the roost, so no more nutjob notions of nicking old people’s homes or turning them into iceboxes by stealing winter fuel allowances.

I’d guess the NHS pay cap will also go so nurses can shop in supermarkets not food banks.

The big problem with politicians is they always want to change things, when they’d do less harm just managing the shop.

Mrs May is now the do-nothing PM because there’s nothing she can do.

The exception is that she must negotiate Brexit. But now she’s weak as a kitten sired by No10 cat Larry she’s likely to make a felix of that, too.The PM is under such pressure to agree a soft Brexit it seems increasingly likely the UK will become Norway without the fjords.

That would mean access to the EU single market, as business wants, but continued unlimited EU migration which Brexit voters don’t.

It will also mean that, like Norway, we have no say on what Europe does. Brexit will become a take it or leave it deal with no benefits.

And you know what, we may come to decide it’s better not to leave at all.