Man, it’s tough being a bloke in sexist row
Cupid finds it hard too
MY difficulty in commenting on the Westminster sexual harassment scandal is that I’m a bloke at Westminster.
It behoves my gender to condemn unreservedly every inappropriate look, gesture, or remark by other blokes or else. I condemn them unreservedly. If I open a door in Parliament for a woman I would not dream of adding a steering hand to her back to see her through, nor have I done so for many years.
My daughter was in Parliament last week when I happened to mention this and she was shocked by my past chivalry.
All uninvited touching, she said, was wrong. I could feel one of our generational differences coming on.
“But you tap guys on the arm when you’re talking to them,” I protested. “Yes,” she said. “Are you calling me a hypocrite, Dad?” “Yes,” I said.
In conversation with women, which includes my daughter, any attempt at humour must first be forensically sniffed for a whiff of sexism. Jokes rely on timing, so they now more usually go unsaid.
That’s not such a bad rule for life – to avoid being offensive or giving offence, to try not to upset or hurt anyone. So it must be right for Theresa May to have zero tolerance for any behaviour that could be construed as unwelcome.
Michael Fallon was undoubtedly inappropriate when he touched a journalist’s knee. Zero tolerance dictated that the Defence Secretary should be swiftly removed.
Some parliamentary harassment allegations are so grotesque they’re police matters. But punishment should be proportionate to the crime.
It should be wrong for men in power to proposition women who rely on them for their job. But can that be right in every instance? Can you legislate against love? Tory Chancellor Nigel Lawson married his Commons researcher Therese, and Labour Foreign Secretary Robin Cook wed his aide Gaynor. In June Ukippers Neil and Christine Hamilton marked their 34th wedding anniversary. Nevertheless new safeguarding procedures for MPs’ staff are needed and the PM, plus Jeremy Corbyn and five party leaders get together tomorrow to design them. Three women and four blokes, eh? You might say almost evenly balanced. But I couldn’t possibly comment.