We’ve both got cancer and joke about who has it worse
PARENTS OF TWO TOTS SHARE HEARTBREAKING FIGHT FOR LIFE
Parents of toddler and new born A YOUNG couple with a toddler and a baby on the way discovered they both had cancer at the same time.
Teachers Sam and Martin Boatman were overjoyed to be giving son Michael a little brother or sister.
“We loved being parents and Martin was the first to guess I was pregnant again,” says Sam, 32.
But as they prepared for the new arrival she started experiencing severe stomach cramps.
“They were so sudden and sharp they took my breath away,” she says. “Then I started passing blood too.”
Sam turned down a colonoscopy because of a slight risk it may harm her unborn baby.
She also had little Michael to care for – and was growing more and more concerned for her husband.
Martin, 34, began to get headaches so intense he was vomiting and had trouble walking.
Initial hospital tests showed a growth behind his eyes. Then a specialist broke the news he had seven tumours on his brain.
A superfit sailing coach who had never smoked, he was told he may not even live to see the birth – just seven weeks away.
Stories
Martin says: “When they put the camera down my throat to look for the tumour a floating sponge, the shape of a ball, loomed into view and I knew that was it. “That was my cancer.” A full body scan revealed more shocking news – the cancer in Martin’s lung had already spread to his liver, bones and his brain.
As friends and family rallied round he prepared for the worst, framing photos of himself for the children and making his will.
He even recorded himself reading bedtime stories to a baby he may never meet.
But against all the odds Martin was there to cradle newborn Esme in his arms when she arrived on November 12, 2016. Sam recalls: “She was gorgeous and had no idea what a mess she’d arrived into.
“I didn’t have any more cramps or bleeding and thought about cancelling a colonoscopy but my consultant insisted we check.”
Six weeks after she gave birth, tests showed her symptoms were caused by stage T3 bowel cancer – and it was advancing fast.
Sam says: “Martin was beside himself. The only thing keeping him going was the thought that if he died I’d still be here for our kids. I knew I had to fight for my life.”
“I clung to the fact that on my notes my oncologist had written: ‘Curable’.” Sam had surgery in February 2017 and six months of chemotherapy because cancer spread to her lymph nodes. She is now wining her battle. But for Martin it’s a different story. New drugs shrunk his brain tumours. But his lung cancer – though under control – is incurable and he has no idea how long he will live. Sam said: “One day his cancer will find a way to outsmart the drugs. “He might have five good years or it might all go downhill tomorrow. We try not to live in a constant state of
dread.”In fact, Sam says their double cancer ordeal makes them appreciate life – and each other – more.
The couple, from Washington, Tyne and Wear, met while studying teaching in 2008 and wed in 2011.
They shared a love of the outdoors and bought an old campervan so they could enjoy weekends in the Lake District.
They were happiest inside it on rainy days, curled up and playing board games with Michael.
Sam insists: “Even though our situation is bleak, we’re grateful for every day we have left together.
“When one of us has a wobble, the other is strong.
“We make light of the situation, cracking jokes about who’s got it
worse. Humour is our way through these muddy waters.”
Even recalling the day Sam’s tumours were diagnosed begins with a smile: “I was heavily pregnant and Martin could barely walk. We looked like such a pair.
“The specialist explained he didn’t know for sure, but that it didn’t look like Martin would survive.
“It was like someone had thrown a wrecking ball into our lives. Somehow we stumbled home and called our friends and family who rallied round assuring Martin he could beat it. He didn’t see how. That same afternoon we had an emergency appointment at the maternity department and found out we were having a girl.”
Ordeal
Eighteen months on from the start of their ordeal, Sam says: “We still can’t believe how unlucky we are.
“Martin was the healthiest man I knew. He never smoked and rarely drank. It is unfathomable that he developed lung cancer when he was so fit. But the whole experience has also made us realise how lucky we are too.”
“Martin’s lucky there is treatment available to buy him more time.
“I’m lucky Esme came along when she did. I’d only had symptoms during pregnancy so if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have known there was something wrong until it was too late. “She saved my life.” “We’re lucky the medical professionals have been amazing. And we are so lucky for the kindness, generosity and time our friends and family have given us. All the kids Martin coached got together to make a book full of stories about how he inspired them.
“His friends organised for the Olympic champion Ben Ainslie to take him sailing. He’s had tickets to Silverstone to watch motor racing and to Sunderland to watch the footie.
“Friends organised a surprise baby shower, my sisters-in-law organised a spa day. Friends cook for us, others look after the kids when we’ve got appointments. The ripples of love give us hugs when we need it most.”
At one point, Martin – a keen runner and golfer who had sailed for Great Britain – realised he had still not taken son Michael, four, out on the water.
“His mates Kev and Bov organised a day on Ullswater in Cumbria,” says Sam. “Heavily pregnant, I stood on the shore until Martin insisted I climb aboard too.
“I didn’t let myself get upset about why we were there. It was a good day – only smiles allowed. Our friends were incredible.”
Martin says: “Sam and I say everything happens for a reason.
“When it comes to us both getting cancer, sometimes we’re not sure what that reason is.
“But even if it’s just that more people donate a tenner to Cancer Research, we can make a difference to future generations.
“Every day I have with my family now is a day I thought I’d never see.”