LIST OF LOVE
oped a persistent cough and doctors found incurable cancer in her lung.
It prompted her to write the tearstained set of rules which Ian swears by. The pointers also cover bedtime rituals, how much screen time the kids get, and a reminder to use sunblock.
Now mum’s pearls of wisdom are being passed on to Ian’s grandkids – Ryan’s son Issak, seven, Damon’s two sons Warren, 11, and Cohen, 17 weeks, and Reece’s son Jaxon, three, and daughter Willow, one.
And Ian says he is just as strict with the grandkids. They get just one hour computer time and are indoors before dark to enjoy dinner together. And Ian brings out Angie’s note when necessary to remind his brood about what Mum would have wanted. Another rule – number 16 – was scribbled out and, on reflection, Ian believes it was a reminder from Angie to look after himself.
He goes on: “I miss Angie every day but I really did feel her absence during the birth of our grandchildren. She’d have loved hugging them, just as I do.”
His hard work enforcing Angie’s list really has seen the kids flourish. Ella was just three when her mum died, but is set to leave primary school with a 100 per cent attendance record. Ian recalled her first nativity play and said it was particularly difficult. He said: “As I sat down a teacher said ‘Mr Millthorpe, you are in for a real treat’. Then Ella sang a solo number. I could see the parents turning to look at me. I was almost in tears and I kept looking up wishing Angie could see her too.” Twins Jake and Jade, 15, are studying for their GCSES, Corey, 12, is doing well at secondary school and Ella, now 10, will join him in September. Connor is learning joinery and plastering at college. Eldest son Ryan, a warehouse worker, is a few streets away while brickie Damon and window fitter Reece live on the same road as Ian.
Supportive
But the hands-on dad has his own health battles. Having survived a brain haemorrhage in 2004, Ian has chronic lung disease and has trouble breathing after over 20 years as a miner.
He said: “The hardest thing I’ve had to deal with is my health. I just want to do right by Angie and my kids. I don’t want to become a burden.”
The children, meanwhile, heap praise on Ian. Jade said: “He’s been so great and supportive. It’s because of him that I want to train as a social worker once I leave school. I want to make a difference to somebody’s life.”
Ella said: “He’s amazing and makes the best chicken curry!”
Ian is quick to return the compliments, saying: “I’m very fortunate. I have a bunch of hard-working, caring kids. I’m really proud. My children talk about Angie every day, what their Mam used to do, what she used to say.
“I can never replace Angie – I don’t want to – but I’m determined to do everything that I can to make her proud of our family. Luckily she has made it easier for me.”