L T I P S V E R T
But I gather it’s a show about beautiful young people hooking up with beautiful young people in a stunning, sunny setting.
Happily I also had the spectacular Majorcan scenery and climate. But, sadly, at my great age the chances of pulling a buff 25-year-old were zilch.
Hubby Tom is hot, but only in the wilting, where’s-my-factor-50, putme-in-the-shade sense.
Six-pack? No. Knobbly knees? Definitely. Cries of ecstasy from the bedroom? No, just screams of agony as he hops around with cramp.
Sex on the Beach? Plenty… in cocktail form.
However, our romantic holiday base at the marvellous Bon Sol Hotel in Illetes must certainly rival that of the Love Islanders.
Topping a cliff, its buildings cascade down to a private beach through lush green gardens.
Rooms are stylish and classy, with spacious balconies and captivating sea views.
The hotel exudes quality. Peace is the byword.
Break-feast sets you up nicely for a slothful day by a choice of pools. Order a coffee and it comes with two biscuits.
Dinner is four-course heaven, either in the elegant main dining room or in the gorgeous seaside restaurant. Who needs a Love Island body anyway?
Service here is excellent and caters for your every need, buff 25-year-olds excepted, of course.
The layout of the site is very quirky, inspired by a castle heritage.
Relax in lounges, cosy corners, nooks and crannies, all adorned with antique furniture, paintings and ornaments.
It’s fun finding your way down to the beach, either stepping down through the picturesque gardens or by a series of lifts and tunnels.
A stay here is summed up in the words “calm” and “charm”.
The trouble is, it’s difficult to tear yourself away to explore – everything is so perfect that a huge 80 per cent of holidaymakers return to the Bon TAKE the bus to Palma from the stop outside level five of the Bon Sol for the best chance of a seat in busy times. GET a timetable if you’re heading to Soller – the trains are infrequent. BOOK an early or late dining slot for a better prospect of nabbing one of the prime tables in the hotel’s seaside restaurant. PACK loose clothing to allow for the inevitable food baby due to the delectable dining. Sol. But force ourselves out we did. Buses to the capital, Palma, are every ten minutes. Within half an hour we were in the busy centre.
It’s great for mooching – we ambled through the narrow pedestrian streets to find a good mix of affordable and high-end shops, admired the splendours of Palma cathedral and took coffee in one of the many squares, sitting back for a spot of people-watching.
Lust
We found vivid colours and tempting aromas at the food market, wined and dined in delightful cafes and sauntered down to the harbour to lust after the beautiful yachts.
Another day we ventured further, taking the “vintage” train from Placa Espana in Palma to chug through olive groves set against a backdrop of impressive mountains en route to the delightful town of Soller. There, we enjoyed a leisurely lunch in the square before boarding a tram to its spectacular port for more meandering and picture-taking – train and tram 32 euros return per person.
Closer to “home” we checked out the Bon Sol’s neighbourhood, which is quiet and bougainvillea-pretty.
A handful of cafes and shops add interest – it’s lovely rather than lively. But it’s the perfect location to get the best of everything, with Palma so close and easily accessible.
We’ll definitely be joining the 80 per cent who return to the Bon Sol.
The owners, Martin and Lorraine Xamena, and son Alejandro and his wife Cristina, could not have been more welcoming. They make a point of getting to know all their guests.
They are also seriously committed to the environment and, to compensate the CO2 emissions produced by their business, have even planted 220,000 trees in Costa Rica – and dedicate three euros per guest per day for their upkeep.
Our stay in Majorca stirred our passions, but was all too brief. Love Island, we hate to leave you. FACTFILE: Classic Collection Holidays (classic-collection.co.uk, 0800 047 1064) has four nights half-board at the Bon Sol from £759pp, based on two people sharing. Includes return flights from Gatwick and private transfers, departing mid-october. See hotelbonsol.es.