Beauty show is a bit of a beast
Tytyty
ANOTHER week, another drama and another ugly mess. Age Before Beauty arrived to great fanfare on BBC1 on Tuesday. It had a stellar cast and a top writer, Debbie Horsfield, who penned Making Out and the Poldark adaptation. But it did not add up to the sum of its parts. Viewers cringed and thought this salon-set Manchester drama was just a rehash of Noughties show Cutting It... also written by our Debbie. “It’s a carbon copy,” tweeted one. And, er, most cutting of all: “Writer of Cutting It takes the odds and sods that didn’t make the script, adds family cliches and gives it to actors who deserve better.” It started like a terrible panto, with Kelly Harrison as cartoonish Leanne, pouting for her salon’s promo video. Calling herself “Botox bitch” she spouted: “In this day and age, getting old’s not an option.” It was all so garish I nearly switched off then. James Murray – funnily enough, husband of Cutting It’s Sarah Parish – was brooding as a James Nesbitt-ish Wesley.
He was married to Bel, who discovered a selfie of him in bed with another woman. So a 25-year-old marriage on the rocks – nothing original here.
Flashback to a month earlier and we get to know the awful family running Mirrorbel Beauty Salon.
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Robson Green did a good turn in eye rolling as Teddy, married to Leanne.
Sue Johnston was spray tan technician Ivy-rae, mum to Bel and Leanne.
And there were her other daughters – Lisa Riley as tattooist Tina and Vicky Myers as Heidi, a cosmetic surgery addict and mum to Disney. Yes, Disney.
Some characters felt unbelievably over-the-top, the jokes didn’t land and the tension never quite reached boiling point.
The main storyline saw Wes falling for Lorelei. An affair with your 20-something personal trainer? Nothing new there.
It was 40 minutes before we finally had a plot twist. An evil arched eyebrow told us Teddy had been pulling the strings on this deception. Wes should have twigged.
When has a man ever run off to book his best mate a spa break?
Then we were bombarded with tired cliches about middle age – fellas stray, women go saggy.
And the worst line of all. “You made me feel 18 again,” Wes told Lorelei. Then they kissed to soaring music. Were we supposed to swoon?
Later, Teddy was cheerleading the cheating and plotting to steal Bel. What did he think this was, Love Island?
“Boooo!” we all shouted. Now the panto was in full throttle. Teddy was the villain, Leanne and Heidi the mean ugly sisters. Bel was Cinderella.
“It’s a great series!” raved Lisa Riley on Twitter. Oh no it isn’t.
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