Skip the spoilers for the ideal mix
Tytyty
AFTER five series of passion, politics, mining and fighting – not to mention some very memorable topless scything – Poldark came to an end on Monday.
And it was pretty much a universally happy ending as Ross got the bad guys locked up, Caroline and Dwight were reunited, young Valentine started calling the shots in the Warleggan household, George packed up and Demelza revealed she was having another baby.
After a big emotional clifftop scene, and some slo-mo shots of wind whipping through his big coat and ruffling his curls, Ross set sail for France.
Bon voyage, Poldark. YES, Bake Off is back! And have we all got our favourite yet?
A baker’s dozen of new contestants took to the tent, all hoping to get a Prue pat or Hollywood handshake – or at least make it through week one.
Sadly, support worker Dan didn’t, with his raw rum cake and flavourless showstopper getting him the boot. It came as a complete shock to Jammie Dodger Jamie – making an early bid for people’s champ by being cute, clueless and cocking up. And sweet relief to nervous Michael, who’d practically lost two fingers in the first ten minutes.
Tasked with making the most boring cake in the world for their signature challenge – I mean, fruit cake, come on – it did give us a chance to get to know our 13 new friends.
And to make decisions about who we liked – the above-mentioned chaps, Star Baker Michelle, safe-and-steady Steph, Halloween- obsessed Helena; and who we’re not so keen on – smug David, annoying-voiced Rosie, Miss Congeniality Alison and far-too-focused-to-be-aged-20 Henry. Although this could all change over the weeks to come, obviously.
But despite the calming delight and boost of serotonin that kicked in on hearing that familiar theme tune and seeing Sandi’s little face, this first episode left me like Dan’s Genoese sponge – flat.
Gasped
Believe me, I am celebrating that this wondrous show is back as much as anyone else who’s watched every series, cried with Nadiya, gasped at Baked Alaska bin-gate, and who’s still horrified by last year’s final outdoor baking stunt.
But this first episode didn’t hit the usual sweet spot. And it’s not just because half the contestants were barely out of their mum’s oven when the first series started back on the Beeb in 2009. Or because the tent t appea appears s to have ave had ad a paste pastel makeover a eove and is now a bit too sugary-sweet and busy. Nope, it’s the really annoying look-ahead clips they’ve introduced at the start.
Because they showed us the finished products standing proudly at the end, we already know how well they turned out.
Jeez, Channel 4 – spoiler alert, much? Half the fun is wondering whether the showstoppers will turn out looking remotely like they’re supposed to, if things will get finished in time, and if they’ll still be vertical and intact by the time the judges approach. This applies to both the bakes and the bakers.
Seeing pictures of the finished cakes at the start of the show meant we could work out in advance who’d played a blinder. Same with showing us the completed biscuit sculptures from next week.
Please, we implore you, stop doing this. We really don’t need spoilery teases. We’re all going to keep watching it avidly regardless. I’m already getting the Hobnobs and Penguins in for Tuesday.
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