Megging a mint
MEGHAN, the disgruntled Duchess of Sussex, is either clever, cynical or both.
It’s been revealed that she kept a diary all the time she lived in Britain, covering everything from her engagement to Harry, the wedding and beyond.
Well, if any of us wondered how the Sussexes would finance their new life together “out of the limelight” in Los Angeles, we need wonder no more.
A diary, even a tame one, would make a bombshell memoir and a prize beyond price for both Meghan and any publisher brave enough to bid for the rights. And we’d all be daft enough to buy it.
We’re already preordering the book we KNOW she’s been controlling. It’s called Finding Freedom: Harry and Meghan and the Making of a Modern Royal Family, and it’s due out in August.
If the very title annoys you like it does me then you can only imagine what selfserving conceit lurks inside.
How, only two years married, can they claim to understand the making of a modern Royal Family? Especially since they’ve turned their back on royalty?
Meghan says she hopes it will “finally set the record straight and show the world why they were left with no other choice than to leave the royal life”.
She also apparently believes “readers will finally understand the monumental anguish and turmoil she had to endure with a stiff upper lip” and “see her vulnerable side, something the book does in great detail”.
We may be curious, even scornful, but she’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.
As for the diary, we don’t know if she’s even thinking of making it public – but what a nest egg, should she ever need it.
I can’t help but wonder if Harry knew his lovely bride was sitting down to chronicle her thoughts as the royals flailed around in their futile attempts to welcome her and make her happy.
In my day, women were encouraged (if their salaries allowed) to build themselves a ‘F*** Off Fund’, should their relationships go bad.
The idea was to keep it a secret from your husband or boyfriend so if things ever went south, you could flee in a flurry of independence and set up on your own.
It was an emergency fund, a back-up, a ticket to freedom.
I don’t know why the phrase is attributed to a writer in 2016 because I had a F*** Off Fund in the early 80s, and called it exactly that.
Of course, most of us later used it to feed the kids and pay the mortgage.
I wonder if that’s what Meghan’s diary is – a F*** Off Fund par excellence.
And was it all a plot from the start or just a happy coincidence that her daily scratchings have become gold should she ever want it?
SHARON Osbourne congratulated Adele for her amazing weight loss by saying that nobody who is fat is ever really happy.
No! Don’t even go there, Sharon. To philosophise about why people are fat and whether or not they are truly happy is toxic.
Sharon knows – because, like me, she has lost and gained then lost again dozens of pounds over the years – that anything you say about weight and body image automatically lands you in deep, murky water. Sharon, inset, said: “It was her time to lose weight – for whatever reason. Health, I’m sure.”
That will offend thousands who deny any link between obesity and poor health. And what did she mean by it being Adele’s time? That, too, implies that everyone will have their time.
Today it’s dodgy to call weight loss ‘inspirational’ because it is a criticism of those who never make or complete their journey.
You cannot make any observations nowadays because congratulation of one implies a lesser effort from others.