The truth by George

BACK TO TRASH IN A FLASH Osborne spills the beans over secret austerity

ON telly quiz Tenable, Warwick Davis asked for the last ten Chancellors of the Exchequer, going backwards from Philip Hammond (it was a repeat).

The contestant got nine. I got eight. The answers are below if you want to have a go. No cash prize on offer, I’m afraid. Times are tough.

I only mention that fine game show because three of those answers popped up in Parliament this week, to give evidence to the Treasury Select Committee. Among them was George Osborne. You probably got him already – but the rest are pretty tough.

Uncomfortable

Anyways, I found myself in an extremely uncomfortable position while watching Mr Osborne. In fact, of all the uncomfortable positions in history, this one is right up there – I found myself agreeing with him.

You know how hard that was to type? Hard, let me tell you.

Agreeing with the architect of austerity. The man behind the Bedroom Tax. The man who destroyed local government. Inventor of foodbank Britain. I need a shower and some Brillo pads.

He painted a clear picture of what’s to come. To be fair, he should know. Unemployment about to shoot up. Lots of businesses going under. Painful, painful recession. A car-crash economy.

And he delivered what I believe to be the single most accurate picture yet of current Conservative thinking.

Bear in mind, as you read this, that Boris has already pledged we won’t see austerity again. Mr Osborne said we

ONE of the few bright spots in this current mess is the positive effect on the environment.

Cleaner air, safer roads, and the return of various wildlife. And people have enjoyed it. A colleague, for example, has developed a special relationship with sparrows during lockdown. would. Then he said: “You don’t have to call it austerity, you don’t have to tell the public you’re doing it. You could try to get away with it as a government and pretend you’re not doing it.”

And there it is. That’s what we’re in for. More smoke and mirrors tricks from low-rent magicians.

Despite Mr Johnson guaranteeing no austerity on his watch, Mr Osborne says we’re going to get it. It’s just going to have a different name. Sacrifice, recovery, team effort, call it what you like. Doesn’t matter. But will the public

I thought this would be the start of a new era in which we think more about the world we live in.

But the scenes from Dorset this week made my heart sink. One clean-up volunteer reported “appalling” volumes of beach litter, human waste, sanitary items and disposable barbecues stand for it again? Local services have been cut to the bone. We’re short on nurses, police and teachers. Those left have been the heroes of this crisis and need a pay rise.

And this is the debate going on in the heart of the Tory Party. Lots of Tories are very worried about austerity returning. Others, like Mr Osborne, don’t see any other way.

The prospect of its return should chill us all. In the US, for every percentage point that unemployment rises, 40,000 people die. Mr Johnson must say no, on dry footpaths. We are turning into the kind of people who can’t enjoy a sunset without tossing an empty bag of Monster Munch over our shoulder.

As Enid Blyton says in The Goblin Hat: “If you can’t look after something in your care, you have no right to keep it.” despite pressure from within. He must stick to his inclination to invest our way out – the idea that we must be terrified of national debt is fast losing traction. Stimulus is the way ahead.

Like Reagan said as he cut taxes to get the US out of trouble in the 1980s: “I’m not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.”

Quite right. Anyway, Tenable is back on. Must concentrate.

Answers: Hammond, Osborne, Darling, Brown, Clarke, Lamont, Major, Lawson, Howe, Healey.