Pandemic shop pain

SOME 92% of shoppers have been left frustrated by high street stores during the pandemic, a survey found.

The main irritation is a lack of social distancing, with 39% leaving shops that look too crowded, a study by voice communication specialists Vocovo found.

It also revealed that Brits are not fans of queuing, despite the popular belief.

Around 75% say they walk out of a store if they have to wait to be served.

MP Jonathan Gullis was booted off a virtual session by the Deputy Speaker for trying to address the Commons while wearing a JUMPER.

He popped up later in the required jacket and tie. No one checked if he had any trousers on but at least he made the effort.

Things start to slip when we’re WFH, don’t they? Especially if you give up wearing a bra.

I ditched my underwired flopperstopper weeks ago. But, after a recent Zoom meeting, a female colleague kindly pointed out that I seemed to be, erm, a bit low, and my points weren’t hitting the mark. Ouch.

But I’m certainly not alone. Women home workers are flinging off their old bras for elasticated crop tops while sales of bralettes are booming. So I have invested in some lovely, comfy “lounge bras” and I’m back on top form again.

LOCKDOWN has clearly taken a toll on Jamie Oliver, whose recipes are becoming madder than ever. In Keep Cooking Family Favourites on C4 on Monday, he committed food sacrilege. He messed with the classic roast dinner and merged it with a Margherita pizza. Mozzarella-stuffed gnocchi instead of roast spuds? Mamma mia…