Circle will drive you round bend
DOGGY matchmaking show
The Dog House returned to C4 on Thursday and it was all surprisingly emotional.
Staff at Wood Green, The Animals Charity, set up abandoned and often nervous mutts with wannabe owners, hoping for good matches and puppy love at first sight.
There were some hits and misses.
Anxious youngster Danny made a new friend in an 8st newfoundland called Rocky. But widowed gran Maggie, who was looking for “another beating heart” in her home, did not hit it off with shih tzu-cross Leo.
And couple Ryan and Katie had to choose between terrier Sandy and bulldog pup Kevin.
As they met both cute, sad pooches, it was like Sophie’s choice. Talk about ruff.
IF ever a reality show was lockdown-ready, it was The Circle – where being stuck inside an Salford apartment block with only social media for company is just SO 2020s.
And now it comes with the added razzle-dazzle of celebrities.
The Celebrity Circle for Stand Up to Cancer on C4 is basically a popularity contest, which, let’s be honest, is the aim of all reality shows. Fighting for favour as it kicks off are Denise Van Outen, Duncan James, rapper Lady Leshurr, Youtuber Saffron Barker, Drag Race star Baga Chipz, Loose Women Kaye Adams and Nadia Sawalha, DJS Rickie Haywood-williams and Melvin Odoom and reality show mates Sam Thompson and Pete Wicks.
They have to communicate solely through a voice-activated platform called The Circle, leading to everyone feeling increasingly isolated, paranoid and panicky. In a shaming snapshot of modern society, everyone is addicted to their screens, waiting for messages, analysing emojis and judging each other.
Occasionally, Emma Willis talks to them from a control centre that looks like a Big Brother Diary Room (may it rest in peace).
People are blocked, alliances are formed and catfishing is positively encouraged.
Gripping
It’s all quite horrifying if you think about it, but also utterly gripping.
Descending immediately into confusion, Lady Leshurr is pretending to be Big Narstie, while Rickie and Melvin are playing as will.i.am, Baga Chipz is channelling Kim Woodburn, Kaye and Nadia are The GC, and Sam and Pete are Countdown’s Rachel Riley.
Duncan, one of only three people “being himself”, is the first to be blocked – for not being genuine. Yes, it’s all bonkers.
Saffron, aged just 20, has no idea who Denise or Duncan is, but declares: “Aww, Denise is the same age as my mum!” Ouch.
Elsewhere, Nadia and Kaye cackle away in their kaftans as “Gemma Collins” flirts with “Big Narstie”.
After Duncan’s exit, in swans Geordie Shore’s very own mysterious girl Charlotte Crosby, playing (quite badly) Peter Andre.
Denise is wondering why her mate Gemma is suddenly calling her “Dens”. Pete and Sam have nearly messaged “we” instead of “I” about 17 times.
During a vote, Leshurr refuses to budge on her decision. “I’m not changing my answer. I’m not a fake,” she rages, under her fake persona.
Everyone has clearly lost all sense of reality and perspective by this point, which makes for excellent television.
Only two episodes to go of this addictive goldfish bowl TV experiment and the truth will out.
Circle, excited emoji, end message.
GRIPPING family feuds, flying accusations and royals in distress – episode 726 of The Crown, sorry, I mean ITV’S Oprah With Meghan and Harry, certainly pulled in the viewers.
For nearly two hours, more than 12 million of us listened as the self-exiled Prince and his Duchess told how they’d stepped back from the royals but didn’t expect to be effectively ghosted. With the couple now estranged from both families, it just seems a very sorry
LOST
Boy: The Killing Of
C5 was James Bulger on
case of harrowing. The 1993
by two the toddler murdered
shocks. In a ten-year-olds still
Thompson is chilling tape, Robert heard mocking two-year-old
his mum, James begging for
says: Denise Fergus. She
let go “I shouldn’t have of his hand.” Just
heartbreaking.