‘I have to wear earplugs when I’m with my boyfriend’

Rhiannon Bates, 24, is a police call handler, who lives in Bristol with her boyfriend George

“I’m lucky my boyfriend George has been so understanding about my misophonia. I can’t eat with him unless I’m wearing earplugs because I can’t stand the noise of chewing.

I have to wear my earplugs at night, too, because otherwise

I’d find the sound of his heavy breathing too distressing.

George has got used to my disorder and he’s really supportive, which is great because at the moment I have about 30 different trigger sounds, mostly connected to the body, such as coughing, sniffing and swallowing. I’m also struggling with the sound of people walking around in the flats above and below us.

The sounds that trigger my misophonia make me feel panicky and angry. It’s like a fight-or-flight sensation inside me, so I get a massive surge of adrenaline, but not in a positive way. It feels quite overwhelming. I never act on that anger, though. Instead, I scream into a pillow or pinch my skin.

My first memory of having a problem with sounds was when I started primary school. All the other children were always playing with the Velcro on their shoes and the noise drove me mad. I couldn’t understand why I hated it so much when others weren’t bothered.

Growing up, I never told my family that I couldn’t bear eating with them because of the chewing noises. I’d stuff bits of toilet roll in my ears to try to drown it out.

Things came to a head when I was 15 and sitting an English exam at school. In the silence of the exam room all I could hear was the other kids sniffing. My heart was pounding and I felt like I was having a panic attack. I couldn’t concentrate to do the exam and rushed out in floods of tears.

I googled what I’d been experiencing and it was a relief to realise that I wasn’t alone. I told Mum, who took me to the GP, and I was referred for talking therapy.

Over the years I’ve tried cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing), anti-anxiety pills and many other therapies. Although none of them have cured me, some have helped me to cope with my reaction to the sounds.

My saviours are my earplugs and my noise-cancelling headphones. I never go out without my headphones and would never go into a shop or on a bus without them. Once when my headphone battery died, it took me two hours to complete what should have been a 30-minute bus journey. I had to keep getting off and waiting for the next bus because people were eating or sneezing.

I have a group of close friends who are supportive, but having misophonia is a very isolating experience. I often miss out on social events. I have been to the cinema with earplugs to block out the popcorn-eating and coughing, but usually I make my excuses.

I’m not surprised there are some people who act on their anger and become aggressive, but I’d never challenge anyone to stop making the noises that drive me mad. I’d love to see more research into the condition and I’m hopeful that one day there will be a cure.”